Sunday, June 16, 2024

Why You’re Still Single.

September 4, 2017 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Let’s talk about love. We all want it, well most people, but not everyone is fortunate to find it in his or her lifetime. For black women, being single can be considered a burden. We are the most educated group of people in America but when it comes to love and finding our perfect match, we are not always so lucky. I know that people want to say that the reason for this is because there aren’t any good men out there, but the reality is that’s not entirely true. When it comes down to it, the reason a lot of black women (women in general) are single is because of the things that we do.

You may not want to admit it, but I know this to be the case. I have plenty of friends that I see struggle with finding a real, meaningful, reciprocal relationship and I have concluded that there are just some things we have to stop doing and accepting in order to have that happily ever after. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s true.

So here are some reasons why you remain single and some suggestions on how to turn things around.

You Ignore Red Flags

Sometimes we want things so badly that we don’t adhere to the red flags that we see pop up in a potential mate. If you have been single for a while, it can be easy to ignore the stuff that bothers us for the sake of saying we have a significant other. But usually, with the way things go, these kinds of relationships don’t last. If you see something, say something. Then get the hell out of there!

You Have Daddy Issues

This one is hard to admit, but the sooner you realize it, the sooner you can heal. Growing up without a father or having a weak relationship with yours makes a big impact on how you choose your relationships. I was blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my father. I have also been in a steady, healthy, happy relationship with the same man for the last six years. The first and most important male relationship you have in life is with your father. Dealing with any daddy issues you have is the first step to finally having a long lasting romantic relationship.

You do Crazy Stuff

I know that we live in a society where reality TV sets the standard for how many people act in real life, but believing what you see on TV and applying it to what you do is not a good idea. The truth is, too many women do crazy stuff in relationships and men just don’t want to, nor have to, deal with it. I have known plenty of women who go to great and unnecessary lengths to ensure fidelity in their relationships and that kind of behavior, more times than not, always lead to relationship failure.

It can be hard to look at yourself and see the things that need to change, but being an adult means doing the tough stuff. It’s all for the better and having a relationship is something worth making changes for in order to experience a wonderful aspect of life.

Staff Writer; Rasheda Abdullah

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