Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Marry for the Right Reason.

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( Age nor pressure is a good reason to get married…not even for those that deeply desire marriage. It seems that once we hit 30 a combination of our “biological clock” ticking, and the stigma that something must be wrong with us tend to make some feel that we must find Mr. Right like yesterday. Ladies this is a recipe for destruction. You just might find yourself in a situation that cases pain, suffering, monetary damage and the kind of scar on your heart and spirit that is beyond difficult to remove.

You must know yourself, and let’s be clear your bank account nor degrees will do that for you. Your status in life in not a gauge for what your foundation is, and what you need in a mate. With that being said you must take stock of self, without all the opinions of others, before engaging in the subject of marriage. We’ve all heard the saying a wedding is but a day. That is the truth. Why you get married is more important than when you marry.

Marriage doesn’t fix insecurity issues, nor self-value. This is a huge mistake many women make in their thoughts on marriage. If you don’t love yourself no man will ever be enough. As sure as he may be all you need you will begin to find fault with everything he does because it won’t be enough to satisfy your happiness. The truth is happiness begins with you…not him. When there are self-worth issues you may find yourself needing to be in control of everything…with everything being done as you see fit. This is not probable nor is it right. When married, your spouse IS NOT a child, and under no circumstance should he be treated like one…neither should you. It is important to attend to the areas of your life that need growth and healing as you await the marriage state.

Furthermore, letting others decide life for you is dangerous. I get it the family wants to see you “happy”, but your definition of happiness may not be what they have in mind…and that’s okay. If you decide you don’t want to marry don’t let anyone force you into such. If you choose to wait this is also your choice. Everyone feels they know what’s best, but only you will live with the consequences of every choice. The same people that pushed you down the aisle won’t have to endure the pain you will face should begin to suffer abuse in that marriage…or divorce. You may be thinking, Chris that’s easy for you to say. Yes, it is because I married at 31 and was the last of my siblings to do so. I was talked to quite a bit as the oldest and unmarried. However, I must admit I am forever grateful that I did not rush into a marriage just because someone was willing to take me.

Marriage requires work, and lots of compromise. It is the merging of two individuals into one, and that takes time. There will be good days, and bad ones. Knowing why you are with your spouse, and knowing that you two on one accord about the family, lifestyle and of course finances is a necessity. There needs to be more between you than money, accomplishment or not wanting to be lonely. Know you, live life, take your time and make the best choice for you regarding marriage.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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