Saturday, May 25, 2024

Sometimes the #1 Priority is YOU.

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( As women many of us tend to put the needs of others above that of ourselves. So much energy, and effort, is put into others we find ourselves depleted and at times depressed. The truth is we must take responsibility for our wellness as individuals. You cannot give another soul what you yourself don’t have. It is a well-known fact that we are able to assist others in a better capacity when we ourselves are well. Sometimes you are not able to put self first because there are situations, and people, that you feel it’s necessary to carry and control.

Let’s just be honest too often you might allow yourself to be worked up by the life choices of another. Yes, you love them but they are adults with a life to live. Everyone is not going take the advice you give them. You must accept that there are adults in your life that will make detrimental choices, and it is not your mess to clean up. You can’t fix ever problem that comes your way. Sometimes the blackwomanselflovepeople in your life don’t come to you for advice…they want someone to dump on. That may be had to digest, but yes some people use your energy. How many times will you give the same advice? How many people come to you with the same problems day and day? These are patterns you much watch closely. Sometimes the best help you can give is your silence.

Sistahs choosing you does not mean you don’t care. However, we must realize we can’t be mother hen to all forever. You must govern your time according to your needs. Try starting your day off with meditation, or spiritual you time. Have a hot beverage of your choice while listening to your choice of positive start the day music. If someone objects to your “you” time the relationship is one sided and you should evaluate it. No one that cares for your wellbeing will object to you doing what is necessary for you to be in an overall good space. The sooner you accept it is not meant for you to carry the burdens of the world the easier it becomes to make yourself a priority.

We love our family and friends but let’s be real some of them are addicted to drama, and negativity. You must be mindful not to take ownership of the negativity and drama of others. If not careful you’ll be walking around angry, and snapping on loved ones but don’t know why. This kind of energy is toxic and harmful to your mental and physical state. The female body requires a delicate balance. If we are not careful stress can cause ailments that the doctors won’t understand.

It’s important to realize that selfishness is often a problem with negative people in our life. You can be sick, weighed down at work, or tending to a sick spouse or child… but that negative person never thinks to handle their own problem. They can see you going through personal hardship, and still expect you to be a dumping ground for their nonsense. Realize you are in control, and your number one priority must be you in these situations.

Its ok to love hard, and be the person that cares. However, you must take the time to care for yourself. Be it single, married or a parent …you must put your wellness first. Sometimes the phone has to go to voice, maybe you can’t answer that Facebook message immediately …those that love you won’t make it about them, and they will understand. Take time to meditate, smell the roses, make it to the gym, keep a journal and just enjoy peace. When you love yourself, and respect your own boundaries others will have no choice but to do the same.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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