Monday, December 4, 2023

Red Flags: When to Pay Attention in a Relationship.

October 6, 2016 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Everyone wants to have a good relationship. Often times, the hallmark of our existence is finding that special someone with whom we can spend the rest of our lives. Yes, we will search the world ten times over if it means finding our soul mate.

But what happens when the relationship you are in is not the best for you? One of the worst things a man or woman can do is stay with someone out of convenience or because they don’t think they can find someone else. Many times, a situation that has become sour or hard to handle started off pretty normal. But even within the normalcy of your beginnings, there were more than likely some red flags you ignored for whatever reasons.2016black-couple-mad

Red flags are things that pique your interest or concern but because you are in love or want to give the person the benefit of the doubt, you dismiss them. If you are in a relationship or looking to be in one soon, here are a few things to consider to ensure you are in a healthy, safe and edifying situation.

Extreme Sex Drive Differences

Who doesn’t want to be with someone who they consider a viable sex partner? However, if their sex drive is extremely different from yours, this will become a problem later. You want to make sure there is an open dialogue about each others expectations because you don’t want to create a condition that can lead to infidelity later.

Pushing Physical Boundaries

This is a big one because it can be an underlying issue that turns into harmful actions. If they don’t listen to you when you tell them to stop doing innocent physical touching like tickling or playful hitting, check them. This can be a sign that they don’t respect your body boundaries and that can lead to dangerous situations later.

Calling ALL Exes Crazy

A person who puts all the blame for the failure of their past relationships on the exes may be hiding something. It can be a behavior, a past, or a number of things. If every chance they get they mention how crazy, problematic or horrible their previous lover(s) were, they could be projecting their own shortcomings onto them. Which means they will do the same to you.

Secretive About Little Stuff

Look, we all have things that we are ashamed of or don’t care to share with others. But if your significant other is secretive about small things imagine how they will handle big things. They don’t feel like they can trust people and a lot of times people who feel that they can’t trust, can’t be trusted.

Cheated With You

This is a big one and one that people just don’t get. I have said it before and I will say it again, if they cheated with you there is a good chance that they will cheat on you. A person who can easily leave one partner and go with another probably has a cheating problem that will not stop with you. Don’t think you are the exception to their rules.

There are so many others red flags. Use these as a way to gage what you should be on the lookout for. Make sure your relationship is one that will last.

Staff Writer; Rasheda Abdullah

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