Saturday, October 23, 2021

Seven reasons why women stay with dumb a$$ men who murder their children.

October 22, 2014 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( I can’t begin to count the number of stories I’ve come across within the last month that all share the same headline, “Mom’s boyfriend kills her child.”

Over and over again, we see women getting involved in relationships with men who do not have their total best interest at heart—he eventually becomes abusive towards her children, sexually, physically and mentally.

In some cases, the women does not realize her children are being abused, while in other cases, she is fully aware.

A child’s behavior may change quite drastically in the home which gives his/her parent/s a sign that they are being abused.   They may have unexplained injuries, are angry, don’t want to go home, develop eating disorders…. The list can go on and on.

Here are seven reasons why a woman may stay with a man who will eventually murder her children:

1. She is lonely/ desperate – It may have been a while since her last relationship; or maybe, she just need the sexual comfort of a man. Sometimes our American culture give women the feeling that she is nothing without a man. Is she looking on Facebook at the next cute relationship her girlfriend happens to be in? Or, is she fed up looking at happy couples kissing, walking hand in hand in her neighborhood andTroubled family longs for the same comfort? Whatever the reason, some women will stay with an abusive man because they are lonely.

2. She is hoping that one day he will like her children – Children are quite intuitive, and right off the bat, they can tell if someone likes them or not. Sometimes a woman will stay in a relationship knowing good and well that the man she is involved with despises her children. She may believe that one day, he may grow to love her children. So she may allow him to start disciplining them, after all, they do need a daddy, right?

3. She needs a babysitter – In most of the recent cases in which a boyfriend kills a woman’s child, she was at work at the time the murder occurred. Granted, childcare is quite expensive these days. So, why not have your sorry ass boyfriend with his no job having self, watch the children while you go slave away at some fast food joint. In some cases though, women are economically dependent upon these men, so they feel if they leave, they would lose their livelihood; or they don’t want to return to a financially depressive lifestyle.

4. She has low self esteem – How a woman feels about herself sometimes determines how she’d let people treat her children. So if she feels like a piece of crap, then she would allow for someone to treat her children as such. Her self esteem is molded from past relationships and her family history. Maybe she too grew up in a home where she was abused If her self esteem is low, she will allow for that abusive cycle to continue through her children.

5. She is afraid of him – The boyfriend maybe abusing the women too. She may feel that if she leaves him, he will haunt her down and kill her and the children.

6. She doesn’t want to be seen as a failure – “Girl, he left you again,” are the dreaded words she does not want to hear out of the mouths of her girlfriends. Sometimes a woman will hold on to a person who’s abusing their children because she doesn’t want to look bad in public to her friends, family and neighbors. Unfortunately, some women believe that it is their “job” to maintain the relationship and if it fails, then it is their fault. They may also feel that finally, they have a real family and don’t want to mess up that false image.

7. She is just as crazy as he is– In some cases, the woman will allow her boyfriend to beat on her children because she too have no regards for the child. It’s possible she may hate the child’s father and the child may serve as a constant reminder of that individual. She too may have been abusing the child so she doesn’t care if someone else is doing it.

Staff Writer; Yolanda Spivey 

This talented sister writes on a variety of topics and is the founder of Black Insurance News. She can be reached at or you can visit her Facebook page; Y. Spivey.

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