Let Her Learn the Hard Way.

(ThySistas.com) Mental energy is something that is not unlimited. We expend this in everything we do, but some areas of life require more energy than others. I find that dealing with people, especially those whereby there is an emotional investment, can drain you in a way that has you unable to mental do what’s necessary for self. Depending on the demands of the interaction you can find yourself replaying the conversation and its timeline for hours or days. We all need that sistah on our circle that will stand with us no matter what we face, or the off the wall decisions we make. The problem is when you are the sistah that takes this stand you may find that you become the whipping post for those you stand with. You might disregard the behavior for a season, but there comes a time when you will have to acknowledge the emotional energy expended, and possibly time wasted, when you constantly intervene for someone that doesn’t seem to value what you have to say.

Some sistahs are able to rightfully discern situations and they tend to see the direction in which a matter is headed. They also understand that there are times when others are not the problem; the issue is self. These same sistahs get the call when all hell breaks loose, though they had been advising the matter before the climax of a matter would occur, they also incur wrath when they are honest about what they see regardless of how they say it. They are yelled at, cussed out, hung up on, and sometimes they are somehow blamed.

The problem with this situation is counsel was given because no person that loves well what’s to see those they love hit a wall in life. So, instead of simply listening…or avoiding the matter altogether they offer the counsel requested or expected. In this space they bare the brunt of the anger and hurt of the sistah they are standing with often times with no apology or mends ever given. This is problematic because if it goes unaddressed it will become a continued action in the relationship.

It is said that when a person lashed out they often hurt the people closest to them. The inability to offer an apology of any sort when they know they are wrong is an entitlement no one should have in your life. This might be hard, but for the sake of your mental energy and emotional state, you will have to let this sistah(s) learn the hard way. They need to begin working on figuring situations our for themselves without having someone there that they can use to divert them from looking at their hand in the situations they face. Furthermore, you don’t deserve to be a whipping post simply because the person doing the whipping knows you love them and won’t leave them. This is an abuse of support and in part of pulling away will allow them to learn to value the support they have in you.

Granted, I know this will be extremely hard because you don’t want to see a sistah dear to you go through pain. However, you also know she doesn’t know how to manager her pain, and you must be responsible for your energy. If you take an account of your life you might find that you are having trouble getting things done internally and externally for self because you are drained and hurting. Replenish your energy and protect your emotional state; let her learn.

Staff Writer; Adonicka Michele

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