Friday, August 17, 2018


I Can Wear What I want.

July 24, 2018 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Sista Talk, Weekly Columns

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(ThySistas.com) I can wear what I want. I should not have to fear for my life…for my safety based on the clothes I have on my back. I should be able to be as conservative or provocative as I choose and both men and women understand they have no right to put their hands on me. There is no reason under the sun that I should be relegated to cautious attire because predators exist. This is not the world I want to live in, and basically its just wrong. No woman, or man for that matter, should have to life in this manner of fear.

When I hear women and men tell me I should cover up more to avoid sexual assault I feel that they are not protecting me. This language seems to confine me while it protects the urges of the evil. It is not my job to police humanity…nor fight for my right to live harm free. When I’m told to cover up no matter the context all I can see is victim shaming. Bottom line I should be able to walk the streets naked, and while on the subject I should be able to go to a party alone if I choose. I should be able to drink what I choose without the fear of date rape drugs.

Sisters I totally agree that the above mentioned are things you and I “should” be able to do. However, the truth is we have to do the best we can to protect ourselves in the reality we live in while fighting for the world we should be able to live in. Paying attention to how we dress, going to gatherings in groups and paying close attention to our drinks are not precautions to victim shame you nor anyone else. These are things we much consider if we want to do all we can to avoid assault, and even then, it might not work. Does this narrative sound familiar?

Before you shout this is unfair think about all the little black boys, and girls, that we must sit down and explain what they have to do to make it home safely. We literally have to strip our children of their innocence in a protected space, if we can, to explain to them how the world is in reality verses what it should be. It is not considered victim shaming for me to tell my son the hoodie is not always the best wardrobe choice.

In this space we are looking at police brutality, and the resurrection of blatant racist confrontations and we advise our children accordingly. Even if their life is spared if they encounter one of these situations their life will be forever altered. Even with all the coaching we can think of it might not be enough to spare them the heartbreaking reality that can happen when simply being black in America.

If our children must endure what is their reality, verses the safety they should live in why are we as women any different? No one that experiences sexual assault deserves that trauma. In no way is the criminal excused in what they have done. Yet, those of us that survive must understand we have to do everything we can to protect ourselves…we have to try. As we fight against rap culture, and police brutality, we have to take precautions knowing evil people exist in this world. The goal has to be making it home at night in one piece. I should be able to do whatever I want as long as long as I’m not breaking the law, but that is not the truth of the world we live in.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitterhttp://twitter.com/MrzZeta.


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