Monday, November 30, 2020

Love Yourself First.

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( At some point, we have been broken, and our hearts were damaged beyond repair… or so we thought. How could the one person you loved deeply break you so bad? How could you possibly move on when your world revolved about that person? Your feelings were hurt, and you could feel your heart breaking inside. Haven’t you been there before?

As a lady, we tend to find fault in what the man did wrong without really accessing our actions. For example, I played a major part in my relationship ending. I always accused him of wrong doing. Anything I saw on social media registered in my mind as him doing something. My past interfered with that relationship. Trust, insecurity, and low self esteem issues were at all-time high, and he paid for my shortcomings.

We can all attest that when a break up occurs we tend to focus on the bad and ugly times. The hurt makes us want to talk about what went wrong in the relationship. Have you ever reminisced and thought… there were more good times than bad times. It was my own flaws that got in the way. How do you respond to a break up whether it’s you, or the other party breaking it off? For me… I admit it was tough. I had lost my self respect. I was vulnerable and weak in the mind. I tried to move past the hurt, and at the time I didn’t want to be alone. I needed someone to talk to. If I wasn’t talking to a guy I didn’t feel right. I wanted so badly for “him” or him…maybe even him to be the “one.” He had something the last didn’t have. He is so different. He stands out from the rest…so I thought. As time went on I saw for myself what I was becoming. I had to give myself a reality check. Who are you? Where did this person come from? Why are you doing this to yourself? I was a real disappointment to myself. I had gone completely too far in my need to have another validate me.

I choose to be honest with myself, and realized what was at stake for me if I were to continue along this path. I could possibly lose my image, my loved ones, and most of all my self respect. I was more than what I was allowing to happen to me. Yes, I was allowing this to happen, it was not his fault…this was something only I could correct. How do you get your get life back on track after a break up? You must start with you, and what you need to heal and rebuild self. You must love thyself first. You must be in love with yourself if you want man to love you. He, nor anyone else for that matter, can’t love you if you don’t love yourself. It is ok to be alone. It is hard at first… I must admit… but over time you learn how to be with you. This allows you time to truly know self, which helps develop self-worth, and your standard.

You become a happier person. You give yourself time to heal. You must be a straightforward person when it’s your love on the line. Time is something no one can get back once lost. You don’t need your phone to ring all day. You don’t have to converse everyday with a guy to feel loved. Truth is you have enough people that love you genuinely and honestly. How could you possibly want someone else to love and respect you and you don’t love or respect yourself.

It is like a breath of fresh air. The heart break you used to feel when talking about your past relationship is now at ease, and you smile. You aren’t bitter…you’ve truly moved on. Why? Because you know and understand who you are. You know where you want to be and you are going into the direction of greatness. Besides your confidence is sure to leave an everlasting impression so that way anyone coming behind you will have a lot of shoes to fill.

Staff Writer; Sha’Nelle V. Harris

One may also connect with this sister via Facebook; S. Harris.

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