Friday, April 12, 2024

To Know My Sister is to Respect Her Strength.

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( It is very unfortunate that many of us have elders, sisters, and friends that we truly do not know. What we know of these women is surface knowledge at best. Time nor blood relation can teach us the women we walk among. When interacting with women it can be difficult as all want to be acknowledged, and often times it is in a way that would supersede the other women in our group. The competition is not merely extended to achievement, but also to pain, suffering, strength, nurturing, beauty and intelligence. While we quietly vie for the queen bee position we fail to know the women around us. Strength is not merely drawn for one’s own energy, and experience…true strength becomes us as we share in the knowledge of other women. We learn of different kinds, and degrees of strength as we engage with the women in our life. Far too often we assume the nature, personality, strength and life experiences of the next women without ever having a conversation with said woman.

When our elders…grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and teachers pass from this life too many of us didn’t know the womanwe only knew the title. There was so much left on the table of knowledge that is lost to us because frankly we don’t know their life story before the titles. Many of us don’t take the time, in this 100mph life we live, to sit with them and learn of their womanhood. Allowing ourselves the space to know the great women in our life that came before us as merely women would answer a lot of questions about ourselves. It would also give us wisdom that would have positive influence on how we choose to shape our own womanhood. There is so much more to learn than just how they reared children, maintained a marriage, or held the family together. The strength we know of them did not begin when they became wives or mothers…it was forged through a life of experiences.

Furthermore, many of us miss the opportunity to know the women that are our peers, or even younger women in our family. At this level, there is often love but fierce competition for no good reason. To know your sister is to respect her strength. In order to do such, you must take the time to, again, know the woman beyond their title in your life. There is so much that can be shared when we desire to know the journey our sister, cousin and friend. Assumption is so dangerous because often times it leads to us discounting the strength and experience of the next woman causing her to feel a lack of value in the circle or it leads to conflict as she feels the need to defend herself. Black women cannot come together and mother as a community, nor uplift each other if in truth we are strangers.

Take the time to know the women in your life. Talk to them and hear their experiences…understand the beauty of their thought process. Allow yourself to see the dreams of your elders and sisters, and let their strength wash over you. In doing this they too will also get the opportunity to grow from having known you. Learn the art of respecting, and cherishing, the strength of another sister while allowing it to help shape you.

This degree of respect forges deep rooted bonds among women, and a true support system that can sustain a people. Teach your daughters to respect the beauty in learning of another girl’s strength. In doing this when our elders, mothers, sisters and friends pass from this place we who are still here will be able to say I knew the WOMAN…let me tell you of her life… of her strength. When they part from us we will have become the carriers or their memory, wisdom and energy.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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