Define Your Motherhood.
(ThySistas.com) Society has so much to say to women about what we should be. It tells us how to walk, think, eat, dress, when to have kids, if we should have kids…and what kind of mother we should be. Part of the difficulty of womanhood is so many imposed ideals that have nothing to do with who we are as individuals. If we are not careful we will find ourselves trying to fit into a box made by many different people in our life. Motherhood is a beautiful thing, but it is taxing and requires a lot of self-sacrifice. As no child is the same…no mother is the same. None of us can be our mother, grandmother, aunt or the “standard” of motherhood. We must grow into who we are as women, and allow our individuality to shape who we will be a mothers.
There is so much pressure to be the perfect mom, and many of us allow the pressure to control how we approach motherhood. I must say my mom is amazing. She is the very definition of grace under pressure. In my 35yrs of living I’ve never really seen her just loose her cool. When I got pregnant with my son all I could think of what being like my mother. Truth be told I’m learning to take the positive aspects that I love about her as a mother, and apply it who I am as a mother. My mother and I are different women, and we have different children. It only makes sense that I mother according to who I am, and who my son is. I have been blessed to pull different attributes from many amazing women in my family, but I display them in a way that is authentic to me.
It is important that you know yourself, and are comfortable in your skin. Your child is going to love you because you are mom. However, make sure you kid is seeing you…not copies of other women through you. You may find that you are a strong advocate for breastfeeding whereas the women in your family may differ from you. That is okay, nurse your baby. Society makes black motherhood to look loud, angry, over nurturing and emasculating on many levels. However, that does not have to be you. What we see in the media is not a reflection of who you are…and yes there are some Clare Huxtable’s in the world.
One of the defining keys of your motherhood is your child. Children are different, and each child has different needs. You must decide what your personality will be as a mother in conjunction to the makeup of your family. No one can be the mother to your children that you can because they are unique to you, and you to them. Embrace this truth, and let it cultivate your motherhood. None of us are perfect, and that is an unrealistic goal.
However, the one thing, as mothers, that we must be is true to ourselves. Being a mom definitely has its stressful moment, especially when its new to you. Being your best you, and a mother on your terms will help to alleviate some of the stress you will encounter. Some craziness can be avoided by just being yourself. Define your motherhood for yourself, and live in the freedom of that truth.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr