Friday, April 12, 2024

I Don’t Want to Know Her Business.

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( Drama and gossip are understood staples in relationships amongst sistahs. It seems as though no one is safe regarding the business. Think about the reality tv shows you may have seen… yes, it’s scripted but the telling of the business is real. Why is it that we tend to indulge everything in our soul to a person we know, somewhere deep down, doesn’t wish us well. In telling it all they have the ammunition needed to administer hurt in the worst way. The problem is too many of us don’t see it that way because the sistah talking is telling us the tea of another women. For the sake of entertainment, or just plain nosiness, we listen. Furthermore, far too often listening is not where the engagement ends; we comment and give our no sense on the life of another woman that thought her vulnerable space was safe.

You might be thinking this is too critical of a position. I can understand because this is something that is second nature amongst women folk, and it’s cool…until it’s not. It’s okay to listen to a girlfriend spill the contents of another woman’s soul all over the floor. We’re here for it, and every flaw will be spoken upon. Every mistake will have us calling her a fool. This invisible woman will be held to a standard that is unrealistic. She should have done everything we don’t, or didn’t, do. This is all condoned as entertainment and just women being women until it is your soul spilling in shame for all the sistah folk to see. Remember, if you are being told someone else’s tea…your tea has been spilt.

Yes, there is a group of women calling you that same fool. They don’t understand what you are going though, and they don’t care to understand. You will be just as shamed as the woman you are shaming. Where does this cycle end? Is it wrong to consider that this has a hand in the lack of trust women have towards each other?

At some point we might need to decide that we don’t want to know that sistahs business. The only narrative we have the rights to is the one we live. It’s not okay to spread what is supposed to be in confidence. There is no way around the hypocrisy in this act, and it aids in destroying communities as the relationships amongst women sour. We can’t be about the people but tear each other down be it publicly or privately. Energy is real, and it’s far time we stop spreading that negative energy about other women…especially those we know.

Spinning a scenario to get insight on how to help a sistah get through a situation you don’t quite understand is very different from mocking her. It is important to realize the young ladies of our community see this, and it enters their life at a very young age. There are young girls in grade school that are on their way to mastering tearing down their so-called friend by telling said friend’s business. We must do better for ourselves and the next generation. Authenticity and loyalty are needed…this includes not speaking business that doesn’t belong to you.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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