Tuesday, September 29, 2020


Lonely or Alone?

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(ThySistas.com) R and B knows a lot about being by oneself:  “Sittin’ Up in My Room” by Brandy, “All Alone” by Dru Hill, “Tired of Being Alone” by Al Green, “Alone Together” by Daley Featuring Marsha Ambrosius, “What do the lonely do for Christmas?” by The Emotions, “I Get So Lonely” by Janet Jackson, and so many more. The idea of being around no one but you has different effects on different people. For some, it is a place of peace of mind. For some, being by oneself is a source of pain and anguish.  Which one are you?  There are some questions you can ask yourself in order to decide which you prefer.

1. When I watch any type of television or movie, do I need to share anything?

It does not matter if you binge watch cat videos on YouTube or you need to watch Hotel Transylvania 3 on repeat on Netflix.  We all have a way of doing each of these.  If you have to call someone or have someone near you, you probably need someone in order for you to not be lonely. On the other hand, if you can watch TV alone and be completely content, you are probably okay with your own company. Not being around people is something you are accustomed to.

2. How do I feel about silence?

People have this idea that you have to meditate or go into some type of deep thinking in order to achieve silence. That is so far from the truth. Turn off devices. Turn off notifications. Sit still. Congratulations! Silence can be achieved.  When silence happens, people usually react one of two ways: embrace it or run from it.  IF you embrace silence, you probably are ok with being alone.  If you run from it,  silence makes it difficult to be alone.

3. What do I consider entertainment?

Different forms of entertainment lend themselves to being alone or loneliness.  Most people who are comfortable with being alone usually enjoy solitary activities: Reading, Writing, knitting, etc.  Those who enjoy activities that involve people-sports, games, etc- probably have an issue with being alone.

As I have aged, I had to learn the difference between lonely and alone because of the type of person I am now. When I was young, I entertained myself, but I always wanted to be around people.  Increasing in age taught me that there was a difference between the two.  I learned that, while I enjoy the company of people, I prefer being alone.  I was also a person who did not enjoy silence because it would remind me of so many things I didn’t want to remember.  Questioning myself with the aforementioned questions helped me to be ok with my likes and dislikes so I could be better for others.

One of these attributes is not better than the other, but knowing which one you prefer will definitely help you with developing friendships and knowing yourself.  Also, these attributes are not negative either.  It does not matter if you enjoy being by yourself or being with people.  As long as you are loving the person you are becoming, that is all that matters.

Staff Writer; J. W. Bella

May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.


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