(ThySistas.com) There are many different levels of discussion that could be had about men that engage in fat shaming. Many women have been led to believe fat is embarrassing, it makes us bad people, we are undesirable for it, and no man will ever love us. Some women have gone to great dangerous lengths to lose weight, it has caused internal complexes in how they few themselves. For some women beauty is attached to a number on the scale and one’s dress size. Being comfortable in one’s skin can lead to confidence and every man won’t see you as undesirable you say. That can very well be true, does that alleviate the target? Maybe when it comes to dealing with men…but not women. many of us have heard men speak on the issue of preference, and how women also have body preference. That may be true, and preference is acceptable as long as it doesn’t become an issue of shame.
It is unfortunate to know some of source of fat shaming comes from other women. Women that know the pressure of beauty standards in this society. Seriously, why are we concerned about another woman’s fat? What is it that makes us commit the harm to another sistah that we have faced on so many days while fighting men for levying the same harsh treatment? There are so many sistahs battling various health challenges that we know not. There are sistahs that have internalized many kinds of abuse and trauma that has manifested in their body.
These are conversations that we have amongst each other in community, so we are aware of these problems. Many of us know at least one woman that is in this harsh space. However, when it’s not a sister connected to us we will drag the next woman because she’s too big, how dare she wear that, her make up too loud, or whatever insult we can think of to shame a woman that has done nothing to us.
We can’t talk about community, or our men for that matter, when we can’t offer camaraderie to the BBW sister next to us. Yes, health is important but a lot of this is not about wellness its pure ugly. Yes, we can encourage each other to work out, but there are sistahs that workout religiously and they are still BBWs. We need to kill the fat shaming, and further a movement that says we celebrate all of our sistahs regardless of body type. When you see that BBW sistah enjoying the sun on the beach in her swimsuit say something positive or scroll on. Let’s not drag a sistah for having the confidence to be in her swimsuit on the beach even though she knows people are talking about her.
There comes a point whereby we must stop harming each other. We can’t ask other to celebrate us when we only celebrate the versions black women we find palatable. We are not a monolith, and that makes us great. We can’t scream black girl magic and not extend it to every black girl. The truth is the BBW next to me is no threat to me…I can celebrate her just because she is. I would only hope I receive the same seeing that I am also her.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.