(ThySistas.com) There will come a time, hopefully soon, where we as women can sit down and discuss things that we see other women do to children that is not okay. We need to be able to call each other out of toxic behavior, and words/actions that could scream pedophilia. If we are to fight for equality we have to be able to lay down our double standards for boys and girls and see them all as children to be protected. In some spaces we champion, empower, and fight for the protection of black girls to the detriment of black boys.
On the other hands the spaces that champion, empower, and fight for black boys is at the detriment of black girls. Its always okay for sistahs to take a stand against this behavior when the culprit is men. However, we should be reminded that most early childhood development is handled by women. I say all of this to say there is a double standard that should be addressed…and it’s how we address baby boys.
Imagine what you’d think if a black man looked at a baby girl and called her sexy. It would be and should be disgusting to you. What could he possibly see in a baby that is sexy? She is adorable, precious, beautiful, cute, but not sexy. Sistahs our baby boys of the community are not sexy. They are also precious, handsome, cute…but nothing about them is sexy. We should not be looking at baby boys and have a discussion on how sexy that baby while imagining what he will look like when he’s older. No, there is no justification that can be given. Sub-consciously that could play into how the baby is handled, and what’s done in front of the child.
Since he’s sexy it’s okay to walk around him when he’s a young boy half naked. It’s okay to groom him to be oversexualized while only blaming the men in the community when it seems he can’t control himself and has no respect for the “grace” of a woman. Don’t get me wrong men have their part to atone for in all of this madness, and it is being spoken on. Deferring to the issued men need to address will not absolve the women amongst us. I had to ask a sistah in Walmart what she saw as she went from complementing a baby boy on being cute to stating, “he’s just so damn sexy”. When asked she got upset and explain the comment is nothing the baby is sexy and began to talk about this infant the way we would talk about a grown man we find sexually attractive. She didn’t see anything wrong with it, but when asked is it okay for a man to speak of a baby girl in this manner she was said no and was appalled by the very idea of such. This is the behavior we must take a stance against.
Boys have to be allowed to be babies, children and adolescents just as our girls need the same. They deserve the protection of a people just as our girls deserve the same. I can’t say it enough…babies are not sexy. The is a damaging double standard and it should not be tolerated. All babies are vulnerable and need protection from those that are sick in the mind, and those that mean to do them harm. Let’s protect all of our children from predators be it man or woman.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.