Sunday, July 14, 2024

Your Parents Possibly Shapes Who You Date/Marry.

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( Take a look at your current spouse or partner, they possibly have some character traits that your parents have.  As women, we’re often told that we date and marry men who are similar to our fathers.  This philosophy goes for if we ever met our fathers or whatever kind of relationship we have with our father.  For most women we either turn into our mothers or if we have an estranged, relationship with our mother, it drives us to not take on her characteristics.

Fathers are a daughter’s first love.  A father will show his daughter that she is loved, special, protected and beautiful.  This is everything that she will seek later in intimate relationships.  She will accept the courtship of a man who is very attentive to her needs, protects her even if it’s simply her walking on the inner side of the street.  This man will declare how beautiful and special she is often, not just on special holidays or her birthday.  She’s naturally drawn to this man because remember, her father showed her all of these things first.

Now let’s say a woman never met her father or doesn’t know her father that well.  She will more than likely, get involved in toxic relationships because she was never given the foundation of a father’s love and therefore, she’s on a constant search for it.  This is not true for every fatherless woman, but unfortunately it is true for a lot of women.  Think about the young teenage girl who dresses very provocative to get attention from boys (and sometimes men).  Deep down inside the yearning for attention is largely due to her absentee father.

Let’s switch things around. A woman who grew up with her mother will eventually take on her attributes such as the caring, loving, independent, nurturing and so forth mother.  When this woman has her own kids, she will at some point say, “I’m turning more and more like my mother the older I get.”  Usually, mothers are our first teachers in life.  They teach us the life skills we need, they guide us spiritually and they teach us how to raise our kids.  A mother’s love is different than a father’s love.  Mothers prepare us to face the world with its many challenges and fathers try to protect his daughters from this cruel world that we live in.

If your mother wasn’t around, abused alcohol or drugs, or was very mean to you due to the cycles of a dysfunctional family with a long history of abuse, you will probably date and marry someone totally opposite of that to escape it all.  No matter who your parents are/were in your life, you still deserve to be happy and you most definitely deserved to be loved.  Take a hard look at your parent’s characteristics and see if you are dating or married to someone who is very similar to them.

Staff Writer; Felicia T. Simpson

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