Thursday, July 18, 2024

When the Loyalist Walks Away.

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( There may be a sister in your circle that is strong as stone. You know she’s been through hell and back but never seems to break. This sister finds time to meditate, pray, be a wife, mother, sister, friend, and confidant. No matter the hour of day or night she will never send your call to voicemail. Even in her darkest times she finds time to counsel and minister to your needs. No matter how you behave, be it good or ugly, she is in your corner. Granted she does administer truth to you, and sometimes its as bitter as necessary medicine but you know she’s not going anywhere. You need her in your life because she is the part of your circle that constitutes balance. Where others have backed away because your negativity is too much, and constant she stands with you. You don’t always follow her advice, and she never leads you astray.

The truth is you don’t realize it, but you take this sister for granted. She is sister, mother, friend and confidant all wrapped up into one. You care about how she’s doing but it’s a formality. The bottom line is you need her to continue to be well because so she can’t continue to maintain this balance you so greatly need. This sister is the loyal one, and you know the hardest thing for her to do is walk away as it goes against her principle. How selfish can you be?

You are not the only person that deals with depression, anxiety, rejection, loss, and pain in this world. Often times this sister that is loyal to you has been there in her life and knows about it in yours. However, that knowledge doesn’t give you the right to kick her when you are down because you know she can absorb the blow, and she’ll stay in your corner. It is so much easier to see what others do to us, or the way men mistreat us. However, too many of us are unwilling to walk the same line of accountability towards the support system that stands with us. It’s never your fault. Just because she understands you doesn’t mean you don’t owe that sister an apology when you use her as your dumping ground or whipping post.

Just because she’s not going to walk away doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge your responsibility to her. Life happens to all of us, not just you. Where were you when she was grieving, hurting, in pain, and submerged in darkness? Did you ever stop to acknowledge her tears? Did you offer to pray with her as she had with you so many times? Or did you tell her your sorry for her pain, hurt and loss while moving on with the next thing you needed to talk to her about? Did you tell her you don’t want to be a burden, which was a guilt tactic even if you were unaware, knowing she would reassure you that she loves you and you are no such thing? Understand that at this point in your relationship with this sister you have become toxic to her, and if she ever understands this fully you will lose one of your greatest advocates.

It is important to remember that everyone has a breaking point…even the loyalist. One day she will call you out on this lack of regard with receipts you can’t deny. One day she will realize she isn’t asking you to do for her everything she does for you…she was asking you to care. When this comes to full realization, on principle, she will walk away. Betrayal is very different in the mind of the natural loyalist.

They do all they can never to deal with betrayal because they can’t stomach it on any level. The manner of abuse mentioned in the mind of a loyalist is betrayal indeed, and though it will make her heart bleed, she will exit your life. If that tragedy were to take place it will feel natural for you to feel abandoned by the one person you felt would never leave you, but what you are missing is you broke her heart. Take the time to truly appreciate the women that walk with you in the spirit of loyalty. Never take them for granted. You need them…we all do.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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