(ThySistas.com) There comes a time when we as women must look at each other and say the double standard is enough. We must fight for change and equality for women with integrity. It is important that we acknowledge that every woman is not a victim. Every woman is not innocent. Lastly, every woman is not right in every situation. Inside the circles of women, we know this because for some of us the biggest enemy we have ever faces is another woman, not a man. If we can’t come to this understanding our movements will never have the impact we desire, nor will they be sustainable. We know that often times many are moved by their personal interest; there is nothing wrong with that unless it is done without integrity.
Yes, there are many areas whereby women have been silenced, not muted but silenced, and it is important that our voices are hear. It doesn’t make any of us less than a woman, nor weak to stand up and speak on abuse. No woman deserves to just be beaten, raped, mentally abused or put through any other horrors. With that being said not the previous mentioned situations are women’s issues. They are human issues, and its time we address them as such.
Recently in the news it was released that rapper Lil Bow Wow and his significant other was arrested due to a domestic dispute. Pictures of both him and her were released and the jokes began. Too many of us choose to laugh because he had scratches and bruises in his face, while her makeup was flawless. The jokes that he had his butt kicked by a woman were seen all over social media. The “maybe she was defending herself”, or “maybe he provoked her” perspectives begin to show up.
There were some women that took the stance that he had to have don’t something to her because women don’t just attack in that manner. Granted, we saw a trickle of posts that called out this double standard, but they weren’t enough in comparison to the jokes and justifications given. If a man acting in violence, and not working through his aggression properly is deemed as a sign of toxic masculinity…let me suggest that a woman doing the same is toxic femininity. Its time ladies that we confront our own.
There should not be double standards here, on principle, no one deserves to be beaten. If her face would have looked like his we’d be ready to mute him. We would call him a woman beater and commence to shut him down. It would not matter why he hit her…nor if he was defending himself. The argument would be he should have used restraint and walked away. Ladies, the same argument goes for us. No human being is a punching bag. She should be muted, and drug. Many will say but what are the facts of the case…well this isn’t asked for men. No one cared about details once we saw Rhianna’s face and knew Chris Brown was the cause.
Integrity calls us to act in fairness, and with humanity in mind. we shouldn’t take a stand merely because you wouldn’t want it to happen to your son, significant other, or male family member. We should take a hard stance because a man’s body and personal space is just as valuable as our own…he’s a human being, right?
For those that would say women don’t retaliate with violence unless attacked are living in a fantasy. Women are moving towards breaking silence about abuse. However, we must acknowledge that men are muted in terms of speaking on abuse…they haven’t gotten to silence just yet. Their manhood is questions, as we see with this situation, when they are seen abused by women. No one takes them seriously when they are abused or raped even. In this area a woman, though limited, has more voice.
Men report abuse far less than women so maybe some women believe the falsehood that women are not violent aggressors because men are on mute about such. Understanding this doesn’t make you less of an advocate for women. However, how can we stand against domestic abuse if there is an area by which we are willing to turn a blind eye?
I don’t know the details of the situation with Bow Wow, but I do know I wasn’t laughing when I saw the pictures. I’ve been hit and violated before, and there is NO justification. If we will not allow a man a reason to hit a woman, and if he must control himself no matter what she does, women must be held to the same standard. Yes, there are women out here that are stronger than men. How many sisters have we heard rant about how they would beat a grown man? You think about that when the subject of abuse is on the table. Right is right, and wrong is wrong no matter who has a hand in such. Its time we tell women to keep their hands to themselves.
Don’t tell a woman to teach her son to respect a girl if you aren’t willing to teach your daughter to respect a boy. Why can’t we teach all CHILDREN to respect others period? Women will not have the movement they seek until the double standards are removed. Ironically, this is the case for any movement. To truly enact change you must first start with your own.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.