Thursday, July 18, 2024

We Need Honesty.

January 5, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationship Talk, Weekly Columns

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( Some of us, as black women, have been led to believe our number one enemy is black men. We are told in our culture they are the equivalent of white men in terms of our oppression.  Black men keep us down, they don’t love us, they can’t handle our truth, they don’t appreciate out sacrifice, they do not protect us, basically they are toxic to us and they kill us. They is what some of us are led to feel is truth. Some of us, subconsciously, have given into the white notion that black men are super predators. When we take this stance, we don’t acknowledge ourselves…nor the sons we raise. Sisters we need honesty. It is important that we see our men, they are ours in culture, with our own eyes untainted by outside sources. Yes, they need to do the same regarding us…but today we are looking at who we are as black women and the honesty that we need in our spirit and mind.

Honestly, as women we don’t acknowledge the hand we have in the undoing of black women, and in some areas black men. We are not built to play the victim card, and its time we truly assess. We hold more degrees than our men, and its not because they hate education. The white supremacy of this county can not afford for black men and women to come together on the same page. There are systemic roadblocks put in place that specifically target black men just as medically we are targeted. Its time we realize the truth and accept it. Over 80% of black men married are married to black women and many of them love their wives.

Every black man is not out here setting you up for failure. Many black women have been defended and covered by black men when it was black women that sought to do them harm. It is time we stop making our own individual battles with black men a community stereotype. If you have a horrible relationship with you father that doesn’t mean all black men abuse their children. If you have a bad relationship with a black man that doesn’t mean all black men are scum. Its time you really that white woman, or even other women of color, are not your natural allies. When they kill our babies only one other group understands our pain…because it was his baby also. We must stop allowing our perspective to be skewed by the media and just our experience.

Lastly, it is important that even in our experience we try to be as objective as possible. Let’s be honest…many of us have a mouth that can spit pure venom. There are black men that are as verbally and physically abusive as our male counterparts. Yes, women lie and cheat just like men do. There are good brothers out there that have had their hearts cut out with a spoon by as sister they loved. There are brothers raising the children that mom abandoned…yes that means she is dead beat. The primary difference is men do not discuss these issues in open forums as we do. In these areas’ society says we have more feelings than he does, and he can never be the victim of such circumstances.  None of this is right nor does it further our cause as women.

Its is time we embark on an era of honesty and true equality. We must see our ally for who he is. No, he isn’t perfect, and neither are we. However, no one will ever understand out plight in this country in the way a black man will. He is not the equivalency of white men, and we are not that of white women.  Both black men and women have work to do on self to be a better support of each other. Lets stop contributing to a one-sided lie.

Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James

May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.

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