Sunday, February 25, 2024

A Ring Won’t Fix Your Life.

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( If I could just become a wife my life would be fulfilled, and complete. I just need someone to love me and be there for me. I’m tired of being alone, and it would be great to have someone to share life’s moments. People treat me like something is wrong with me because I have the career, but I’m not married. Maybe something is wrong why is that no one wants me. I give everything I have to a relationship, yet I continue to come up empty handed, and I can’t understand why. No one likes me. everyone around me is getting married, and yea I’m happy for them I guess…but what about me. Everything in my life would be perfect, and I could weather any storm, if I were a wife.

Many of us have heard the above-mentioned statements from sisters in our circle, and many of us have stated them ourselves. When we are single and feeling abandoned by the very idea of a meaningful relationship we tend to berate ourselves and allow others to berate us with the statements above. However, there is a simple problem with these statements…none of them are true. The idea that marriage brings about wholeness is a falsehood that must be dispelled. If you are not whole before getting married having a ring will not complete you. As a matter of fact, without wholeness marriage may actually destroy you. This may sound unbelievable but, for a moment, allow me to explain.

Marriage is a partnership whereby, contrary to what we are told, both parties need to bring 100% of themselves to the table not 50%. If you look to your marriage for fulfillment you will find that you have places your happiness in the hands of your spouse. When he does not, as he cannot, fill your emptiness you will deem him as a failure and charge him with having ruined your life. The truth is it was in shambles before Mr. Hubby came alone. It is very important to understand who you are as a woman. Explore what makes you happy and complete.

If you have been deeply hurt in the past it is important to cultivate healing so that you are not brings dead issues into a new space. Assess self, and in doing so own the areas that need work. This will allow you to take control of your life and constitute the happiness you need. You are strong, beautiful and of value before you are ever a wife. Regardless of your past you must find the courage to love you and believe is you. This must come first; you must come first.

Many sisters have gotten the ring, they are married, and they are miserable. Some of them have never felt so alone in all of their lives. They enter cold beds at night and have no idea how to turn the marriage around, or if they married the right person. The problem is it was never about marrying the person best for them…it was simply the race to the alter. This is dangerous. Marriage is work, and it can be challenging, but it is also beautiful and rewarding. However, the ring won’t fix your life…it adds to your life. Take the time to know you, and love you with all you’ve got, and if you still want the ring go for it but do it for the right reasons.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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