(ThySistas.com) Many of us do not care how angry a man gets, he has absolutely no right to disrespect us. He has no right to go off on us in a demeaning way. This is verbal abuse, and it ought not be tolerated under any circumstance. It is important that both parties learn how to express themselves in a manner that is respectful regardless of the situation. When this doesn’t happen its childish, and borderlines a temper tantrum that causes hurt. Many of us can agree with this. There are no grounds by which a man should disrespect us. With that being established…ladies we must take a very hard look at ourselves, and our expectations.
There is nothing wrong with the expectation of respect. The problem arises when we don’t give what we expect. Let’s be honest…some of us have tempers and mouths on us, and when we are angry our
mouth is sharper than a blade. We will cuss him out, call him every name we can think of, and he had better not breathe the word disrespect. We’re just being real with him, and if he can’t handle the truth he’s not a real man, right? Wrong.
When our anger manifests itself in this manner we are just as disrespectful to him, as he would be to us if it were us being cussed out. We don’t get the right to play this double standard game simply because its wrong. In that moment we are the ones committing the verbal abuse, and yes, its hurtful. We want equality, and rightfully so, however the double standards we insist upon are harmful to our relationships, and it teaches our children very harsh lessons.
If you cuss him out because you are angry, but demand that this disrespect doesn’t happen to you…you have empowered your daughter to be abusive. However, you have taught your son in that moment his worth is not the same as a girl. You showed him women have the right to be respected whereas men don’t. His gender means its okay to talk crazy to him, and it’s okay to beat on him. However, he is never to do any of that to a female. Furthermore, if he addresses the disrespect he’s not a real man because he should be able to handle it. One day we will realize this disparity is indeed toxic to the masculinity of our sons.
No one in our relationship should practice disrespect…even when they are angry. If men must learn self-control, we must do the same. In that space we are giving what we expect and teaching the next generation the proper way to deal with disagreement and anger. That is a lesson that has to be talk in unity by men and women. Are there brothers that need to be told this same thing…most definitely. However, if we are to heal our community that begins with self. We can’t just pass the advice we must embody it lest we partake in hypocrisy. Anger, for no one, is grounds for disrespect.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.