(ThySistas.com) The need for approval is at an all-time high. If not careful we’ll find that every little thing we do is to garner approval from those we deem important. The problem with this narrative is as a woman you never truly get to know yourself which means you run the risk of never really accepting yourself. Let’s be honest…you can’t accept what you don’t know. There is no way to please everyone all the time, and this becomes a serious issue for women. Many women hit their breaking points as they feel no matter what they do nothing is enough, or that they no longer have purpose as the object of attention has been gained or lost. At some point, one must work towards self-acceptance which will often conflict with the need for approval.
When dealing in approval you will never have enough, work enough,
be pretty enough, big enough nor small enough. You will always find yourself fighting for an approval that is unsatisfying. Even in relationships with one’s significant other…it is important not to center yourself on their approval of you. Granted there is a difference between wanting to be your best person for those you love, and a sheer addiction to approval. When we talk about being our best person we must ask how can I do that if I don’t know myself. There is one thing that is certain in this life…you must learn how to accept yourself.
As women, we have been trained that we need the approval of our man, family, children, co-workers, and some have attached the need for approval to their self-worth. So, if your make-up isn’t perfect you are flawed. If you don’t have the right clothes you don’t have worth. The beds aren’t perfectly made so you must be a terrible mom. Your underwear doesn’t match what a terrible woman. You gained 20lbs your husband won’t love you. The holiday meal wasn’t prepared like your mom or grandma’s so you are a sorry woman. None of the above mentioned is a healthy bubble to live in. Since approval is running your life you feel uncomfortable dealing with you aside from the lenses of approval. This creates a false sense of strength, and women are cracking under it every day.
This may be hard to believe, but those that truly love you…want to see you. It is necessary to take the time to figure out your own style, and what you approve of for yourself. If you decide to get made up, and dressed to the nines do it because it makes you feel good about you. When the approval is based on what you need and accept…you are then stepping into your Queendom. This is a woman a man has to respect because your identity, and ability to be, is not connected to his approval of you. Accepting you fully will cause your family, and babies to respect the woman you are…even if they don’t approve.
Each of us will come to a time in life where we will have to stand alone. Your strength in those times comes, in part, from you having accepted who you are. Life can be difficult enough without having to face those difficulties with the approval of others clouding both your vision and judgement. Learn you, accept you, love you and grow. Allow yourself this freedom.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.