(ThySistas.com) Break-ups are one of the worst parts of anybody’s life. No matter how long the relationship lasted, it will always be difficult to deal with when it comes to an end. It won’t always end nicely and it can get complicated, especially if there are kids involved. There is always the danger that you will end up in a downward spiral and let your negative emotions take over your life. While it is natural to grieve and deal with you emotions up front, holding onto that pain for too long is unhealthy. Instead, you should work through it and come out the other side stronger than ever. Getting through a tricky break-up is a long process and you need to take it one step at a time. If you are struggling with recent emotional wounds, here are a few ways that you can deal with it.
Talk It Out
The natural reaction to a break-up is to push those emotions deep down and act like you’re ok. People think that staying strong is the best thing to do, but it won’t help you at all. There is also a tendency to try to blame yourself or work out why the relationship ended.
This won’t help and it won’t bring your loved one back. Accepting that it is over and trying to move forward is the best thing to do. Let yourself experience whatever emotions seem natural and don’t judge yourself for it. Talk through your feelings with friends or family members, it will help you to process things and start to put it behind you. It can also help you get a bit of clarity on the situation. Speaking to a therapist is another option if you are struggling a lot and cannot move past the break-up. There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. Writing down your feelings in a journal or diary is another great way of getting things out there.
Look After Yourself
When you are feeling low, it can be easy to start neglecting your health. Sitting around on the sofa eating takeaway and watching TV might be the only thing that you feel like doing. The truth is, it will only make you feel worse, and that will make it more difficult to move on, landing you in a vicious cycle that you can’t get out of. Some people go the other way and try to get revenge on their ex by making themselves look better. Going on a crash diet will sap your energy and make things worse again. Make sure that you are eating well and that you are eating enough, it will improve your mood and make it easier for you to stay positive.
Exercise is another great way of inspiring positivity and healthy feelings. It has been proven to be one of the best ways to combat low feelings. Every time you exercise you release endorphins which will massively improve your mood. As well as this, it increases your energy levels, making you proactive and more likely to get out of the house and do things. However, you need to be careful. Just like dieting, exercising can become a compulsive behavior that we use as a way to ignore our feelings. This is unhealthy and won’t help you deal with your emotions. If you are doing exercise make sure that it is something that is actually fun and try doing it with friends so it doesn’t become a troublesome behavior.
Don’t Obsess
One of the biggest obstacles that will stop you from moving on is to obsess over the relationship. There were plenty of good times during the relationship but that’s over now, thinking about it all the time won’t help one bit and it will make it impossible to move on. No contact advice is a good rule to play by. Don’t have any kind of contact with your ex at all, it will only undo all of the hard work that you have done so far. Instead, you should be thinking about all of the good things in your life that don’t involve your ex. This can be a struggle because a lot of people, especially after the end of a long relationship, have trouble with their identity. After spending so long with somebody, your identity gets tied up with theirs and after things come to an end, it can be difficult to know who you are without them. Finding yourself again is the key to moving past the relationship.
Enjoy Yourself
Sitting around at home on your own isn’t going to help you get over them. Without anything to distract you, it’s likely that you’ll spend all of your time thinking about the relationship. You need to remind yourself that you can have fun without them. Remember all of the things that you used to love doing before you were with that person and go and do them. It doesn’t have to be anything big, just a cup of coffee with friends or a quick walk. Spending time with friends is great, it will remind you that there are other people in your life that make you happy and they can offer a great support network. Anything that makes you laugh is a sure fire way to make you feel better. Studies have shown that laughter is great for combating feelings of loneliness and isolation, so it really is the best medicine.
Be Good To Others
Everybody around you is likely to be helping you in any way that they can. Returning the favor could be a big help to you as well. Doing kind things for other people has been proven to massively improve your mood and fight the symptoms of depression. It can help you to move past the relationship because when that person is gone, there is a huge void. All of that positive energy that was previously directed at your partner now has nowhere to go. Directing it towards your friends and family will replace those positive feelings that you used to feel with your partner.
Keeping your body and mind healthy is the key to dealing with a break-up.
Staff Writer; Lois Wilson