(ThySistas.com) A black woman’s sexuality doesn’t define her; it’s an element of her. This often causes women to be secretive with their sexual behavior and then joining with the ‘naysayers’ to distract any questioning of them. There doesn’t seem to be any distinguishing factors to pinpoint what influences a black woman’s sexuality. Another way to address this issue is to simply close your eyes, and get lost in fantasy. Those who don’t feel deserving of pleasure often have trouble allowing themselves to fantasize but it’s worth trying. But commonly, it’s just the result of living in a world where women are only now learning how to let themselves enjoy their own bodies, bit by bit. After all, for most of recorded history we were considered property.
It’s Your Choice- Have Better Sex
Make a decision for yourself that you are interested in having better sex. Being sexual has to be a decision for you. You won’t be authentically in it if you decide to be sexual because your boyfriend wants you to or your husband is begging you. You can make a choice
to learn about your sexuality and have better sex if you choose to do so but please don’t let someone talk you into it because that’s what they want for you. You need to have a discussion with yourself about if you are ready to become more sexual. Once you decide it’s for you then go on to the next step.
Take a Mirror and Look at Lady Bits
Ladies, it’s time to do this. Take a mirror and see what is downstairs already. How can you know what you want and what feels good sexually if you are unsure what is even down there in the first place? A hand mirror works best to take a look at what you really look like. Vagina’s come in all shapes and sizes so please don’t be too hard on yourself. Identify your outer lips, your inner lips and find your clitoris. Understand that most orgasms stem from your clitoris so it’s important to find where it is positioned.
Make it a Priority to Learn the Art of Self-Pleasure
Next step, learning how to masturbate and understanding the link between women who masturbate and having sexual confidence. Now some of us were raised to believe and think sex is dirty and girls aren’t supposed to touch themselves. As a grown woman you should think about giving yourself permission to find your pleasure and masturbate when you want. A good place to start is to order a vibrator online and have it sent right to the house. You can also find the brand “Bedroom Candy” by Kandi Burruss at online retailers. See, now buying a vibrator is so normal they sell them in the malls.
Contemporary culture art, fashion, music, movies and TV they’re still figuring out how feminism works. But you can take the cause into your own hands (literally!) and insist that pleasure be a part of your life every single day.
Staff Writer; Amber Ogden
One may also view more of her work over at; AmberOgden.com.
Also connect via Instagram; 1amberogden and Twitter; MsAmberOgden.