(ThySistas.com) Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever. – Audre Lorde
No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you. –Althea Gibson
Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now. –Audre Lorde
The strong black woman concept can lead us to a place of isolation that will render us weak, and damaged. Life cannot be lived on an island. Whether we understand it or not…we need others. No one in this life makes it alone. So many of us have experienced severe hurt
in our lifetime, and we never take the time to fully heal. We don’t truly assess our self-image. If we are not careful we will find ourselves internally isolated from others. Granted we can be social, and surrounded by others yet deep down there is a cold loneliness. Overcoming sorrow and hardship requires the strength to trust another human being. Yes, I know that is not what we ladies want to hear. We have totally misunderstood what it means to be a strong black woman in many cases. If we don’t allow people in we diminish our strength.
Many of us cover our pain by being everything to everyone else. This has become the definition of strength. How much can I carry for others? How much can I be there for others? No, I don’t need anyone to help me…I must help others. Who all can I pray for? I don’t want to leave anyone stuck out. I can never not be there…no matter what. If I don’t take on the burdens of others, especially family, then I don’t truly care. Many of us carry these loads day in and day out. We are so engulfed in the needs of others that we don’t have the head space necessary for ourselves. As others in our lives ascend we tend to slowly decline.
Strength is very important, and yes is it inherent to us Sistahs. We can withstand a lot, and handle obscene amounts of pressure. With that being said a key component in this strength is allowing others to be there for us as much as we are there for them. Yes my sistahs we must trust someone with our sorrow. When the burden of isolation rears its ugly head we must acknowledge that we allowed it to exist. Once we hit rock bottom it’s easy to say no one was there for us.
This can be seen quite often in relationships. Some of us have husbands that love us deeply. They know something is wrong, but they have no idea what nor do they know how to help. We render them helpless when they are not allowed to be there to love, support, empower and uplift us. This can be a major source of frustration. In order to love deeply, verses merely out of obligation, we must allow others to love us. This means letting others assist us in the load we are carrying. Ladies, it will do our back, heart, head and health all the good in the world.
This is a change we must make now. We can’t afford to sit back and allow stubbornness, and fear, to break our backs. We must allow others to deliver us from the internal isolation. We have to get out into creation, and yes that requires us to be vulnerable…but such is life. We must allow ourselves to truly live…not just for others but for our own happiness sake
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.