(ThySistas.com) I’ve heard many adults say that they don’t want any new friends or that they’re only friends are those they met during childhood. Imagine a sports team never letting go of or allowing new teammates to join their squad. Imagine them not replacing the weakest link for someone better at placing their position, exactly how far do you think the team would go? Life moves entirely too fast for us to hold on to people who no longer bring benefit to our lives merely because we are “comfortable” with us. Why limit the experiences and lessons we could be enjoying in life merely because we don’t want to make friends with new people, new energy, new life?
For many accepting new people into their circle is scary. How do I know I’m not getting into more of the same? How do I know what to look for? What makes a friend, a friend? Walk with me as we explore a few qualities of a good teammate.
1) Blunt Honesty – Many of us have a tendency to run from the truth. We’re quick to remind others “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. How dare we encourage someone to either lie to us or keep quiet? I constantly find myself telling my daughter that the truth isn’t always pretty. These days we use terms such as “hater” to label those who openly tells it like it is. There is great beauty in hearing the truth from one who genuinely cares for you. If you have people surrounding you that always sugar coats things, get rid of them immediately! That’s what enemies are for, allowing us to go down the wrong path while they look on. Fill your team with people who are
willing to have a heart to heart with you rather than behind your back.
2) Purposeful – Often we seek friends who are “successful”. You know the one’s who have a good job, their own house and car as well as a few dollars in their pockets. It’s easy to be blinded by the illusion of material things! Many times these people are miserable, they hate their jobs, hate their mates, hate where their lives are going and bring nothing but misery to the friendship. They’re always complaining, always have bad news and are best at sucking the life out of you. People who are on “purpose” live life with meaning. Purposeful doesn’t mean one doesn’t feel hardships in life, it means they view these hardships as life lessons so rather than basking in sadness or calling you for a shoulder to cry on regularly; they bring excitement to the friendship. With each situation they face, they move through them gracefully and the wisdom they gather in the process is always life altering for both you and them.
3) Family Oriented – Beware of anyone who isn’t in love with their family! Regardless of what a person went through in their younger years or as an adult with their family, they should always be able to maintain family oriented morals and values. Within our families is where we first learn to love unconditionally, we learn to forgive and we learn how to be loved. Any individual who can’t love and forgive their family is unable to do so with you. Anyone who is distant with their family is soon to be distant with you. Pay close attention to how a person interacts with their family! Not merely in selecting friends but in choosing romantic partners as well.
4) Loyalty – Being loyal extends far beyond merely sticking around. Loyalty includes being supportive of a friend’s goal and assisting them in making their dreams a reality. It also includes keeping friend’s secret close at heart. Loyal means that you are willing to accept a person where they are and as they are without imposing on their beliefs, thought and feelings. Loyalty is being happy for a friend’s success even when you feel as though your world is falling apart. A loyal friend always makes time to check up on you, ensure that you are in the best of health and spirit as well as making sure you have what you need to thrive in life.
5) Sensual – No doubt I know that’s a scary term in such an oversexed society. Any term that slightly resembles “sex” freaks us out so let me quickly explain what I mean by sensual. Our sensuality is our ability to feel, to connect to another human, to be vulnerable, to be touched and to be open. A sensual person isn’t uncomfortable giving you a big, warm hug or a shoulder to cry on when you need it. A sensual friend will make eye contact when speaking with you giving you their full attention. They have no problem shampooing and twisting your hair. Or making you breakfast in bed if you’re not feeling well. A sensual friend, like a romantic partner, expressing their love for you through their actions. Sensual friends are confident in their sexuality as well as themselves, physical contact doesn’t frighten them! They understand the essence and benefit of the human touch.