Thursday, December 13, 2018


Learn to Say No.

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(ThySistas.comToo many of us feel the need to be everything to everyone but ourselves. While we experience challenges and hardship that threaten to unseat our sanity, at times, we continue to say yes to all that is requested of us. The idea of the super woman sistah could be, in part, due to our inability to say no. It’s understandable that you want to see everyone you care about thriving and on top but you are not built to carry the burdens of the world. In never saying no we condition the people in our life to expect their life take precedence our wellbeing. At some point we need to understand the word no is not the enemy…it very well may save your sanity.

There is power in the word no. Granted it may make some feel you are selfish, or don’t care about their situations. However, the truth is if the people in your life truly cared for you they would understand that you have a life. Saying no when necessary will alleviate the stress of feeling under the time gun at all times. You are able to get the necessities taken care of where you and your immediate family is concerned. There is nothing worse than making sacrifices for the children of your dearest homegirl because she needs you, but in turn you end up neglecting your own child. There has to be a hierarchy in your life that governs what you can and cannot do.

Some women face problems in their marriage because while they are out saving every friend and family member that calls the spouse couldn’t get a moment of your time when he truly needed you. When you are beyond exhausted, and your body has reached the limit but instead of caring for self you answer a friend that could have waited, and it may have resulted in your trip to the ER or an accident. This is not care…it’s the neglect of yourself and ones you hold dear.

This approach to the word no will define who your real friends are. You just might get introduced to the narcissistic nature of a so-called friend. You may discover the lack of reciprocity in your life. Though these realities hurt, acknowledging them and taking control of your life, and time, is one way to rid yourself of toxic situations. We can’t do much about the super woman stereotype, but we can learn to say no when necessary. We can’t save everyone, and sometimes we cripple, and enable, others when they know we are the go to that never fails.

Some of the people in our life may need to learn how to stand on their own feet, and for as long as we say yes to every problem that arises they will never take that step. Remember that it is okay to choose you, to rest, to choose your child of whom you are responsible for, to choose your mate, and to maintain balance in your life. What you will find is though hearing no from you may take some getting use to for others…they’ll live, and many will still love you.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitterhttp://twitter.com/MrzZeta.


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