(ThySistas.com) There is so much going on in our community, and in the world. There is violence, pain, and suffering on various levels, and there seems to be no ending in sight. The answers to the problems we face are vast, and in some instances difficult. We want an immediate fix when the answer might be various battles in a long overdue war for a humanity that honestly never existed. We are not fighting for the soul of a nation; we need to fight to create a soul for this nation which is vastly different. Maybe it’s time to retreat into self as a people to look at the state of our children, which would in turn tell us the state of our community. The thing is, we already know it’s not looking it’s best. Every year we see beautiful pictures of our children graduating, and moving to new levels, and it reminds us that there is light. However, we need more. We need more babies to cross those stage. We need more people within our community to see the collective We. Maybe the youth doesn’t see it because the adults don’t.
I remember a time when families lived in neighborhoods, and there were elders a plenty that seemed to see everything. All the neighborhood kids understood that there was always someone that could get in touch with their parents. Furthermore, the first line of discipline, or talking to, was going to come from the elder(s) that caught said kid(s) misbehaving. The village was parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, church members, neighbors, the parents of the child’s friends, teachers, coaches, mentors…it was plethora of people pouring into the children. Every situation was not abuse, and every adult wasn’t toxic. However, it seems that the kids growing up not wanting to be told anything became adults of the same. Some kids didn’t appreciate the sacrifices made on their behalf to steer them in the right direction. It became easier to listen to those outside of the village… and I’m not talking about the streets.
For some education, economic growth, and status meant a new crowd and the acceptance or “modern” parenting. There is the air of wanting to give kids everything you didn’t have growing up, and that included a kind of freedom per se you didn’t have. The children are allowed to be more on negotiating term with parents. The problem when Big Mama not about to allow a child to speak to her with disregard. The issue gets rough when a family member tries to correct said child in love, but the parent makes it very clear that no one can tell that child a thing accepts the parent. That child doesn’t have to listen, or mind, anyone but the parents. That’s not a positive exclusivity. It might seem empowering when the child is young, but it’s a problem when the child had no respect for outside authority and eventually that extend to the parent.
It is important to note that this is don’t extent to abusive not toxic individuals. It shouldn’t take a village one a parent reaches a breaking point with a child that is in danger of messing up their life. At this point sending the village in may be the right answer, but that can be difficult for the child to learn to respect voices they were taught to disregard. If it takes a village to nurture a child, start that child off said village. Allow them to be loved, corrected, and poured into by those you trust other than yourself. All said village to do its job. This will make transitioning to school, and other areas, easier because your child is already used to receiving instruction outside of yourself. With everything going on in this world our children need all the guidance, love, and prayers they can get. It takes nothing away from you as a parent to allow your village to stand with you. It will empower you and send a powerful message of community love and care to your child.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.