(ThySistas.com) Life can leave scars that seem to remember is of the pain and suffering we’ve endured when we look to seek love going forward. It’s easy to say I’ve moved on, and my past doesn’t affect my present. However, sometimes that is not the case. It’s important to know that just because a door is closed doesn’t mean you are ready to open another. It’s understandable that you would feel like you deserve no love, and you are only getting older so you want it now. You want your right partner so that your relationship can start, grow, elevate, and get to a point of marriage and family. While there is nothing wrong with this desire unresolved hurt threatens this dream more than time ever will. Of you don’t take the time to evaluate self, and how past hurt effects how you see a man you might find yourself unable to keep one…not even Mr. Right. Nothing he does will ever be enough to make you happy.
Many people experience hurt from family relationships, and ones of a romantic nature. The problem one faces is hurt from either one can stifle a growing relationship. If one has abandonment issues, and have been abused by their parents those hurts have to be addressed. You must get to a point whereby you don’t see yourself through the lenses of parents that did not value you correctly. In a relationship they will cause you to assume abandonment where it isn’t present; it can also cause you to need validation that’s is a result of parental abuse. A significant other is now tasked with behaving in a certain manner, and yes they will walk on eggshells, because you are technically still hurting.
When past relationships are responsible for various kinds of abuse, and violation no of trust we must address, and heal from these sufferings. You many believe that this doesn’t apply to you, but when you find yourself assuming the new man’s character because “you refuse to ignore the red flags again” you set yourself up to hurt your partner. No one is perfect but the new person in your life isn’t allowed their own mistakes because all you see is the pain of your past. Something they said in passing conversation could trigger you, you go off on them, and now you are creating scars for someone else.
Please take the time to look at where you’ve been, and choose healing. There is nothing wrong with admitting you’ve been hurt, and it’s taking time to heal what’s broken in you. When you choose healing you can see people for who they really are because there is no additional lenses. Furthermore, you don’t find yourself bin a space whereby you become the person inflicting abuse because bottles up pain has come to the surface. We do live in a fast pace society where everything feels as though it needs to be had like yesterday. Relationship is something you can have, and it can be beautiful, you just might want to consider slowing down. This pumping of the breaks is not because you are a terrible person. It should happen because you love yourself enough to tend to self-care, and you want to be fair to yourself, and whoever you choose to be with going forward.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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