Saturday, June 3, 2023

Lose the Filter.

August 1, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( Far to often women succumb to the definition of what it means to be a lady which leaves them feeling like a shell of themselves. Growing up many of us are taught to dress, walk, sit, stand and speak gracefully or we aren’t a lady. Sisters understand at some point by society stands we may never be lady enough, as we are not the standard of a lady…a white woman. However, in the quest to deem ourselves graceful of some levels many of us began to live within masks with a filter for everything. Even when dealing with a partner he often gets say what he feels in the colorful language of his choice without being judged for said language. However, if a woman speaks with the same level of force and language she’s out of order.

Something about her is not right, and she needs to behave like a lady. Sometimes there is more emphasis put on our language than the meaning and purpose behind our words. Verbal expression is a part of who you are. Of we find ourselves putting filters in place for everything when are we exercising the freedom to be ourselves? That’s really the issue…being free to move, and speak without regard to judgement. Removing filters won’t make you less of a lady.

Losing your filter is not a one way ticket to reckless behavior nor is it a cuss like a sailor all day everyday pass. However, it is deciding not to live a life so censored that you become disconnected from who you are as a person. When situations occur some sisters choose silence, or a walk on egg shells approach so that they aren’t seen as the “angry black woman”. This happens on the job, with family and friends, and with the significant other. What we must realize is when we decide to remove the filter and speak our truth on a matter if labeling is going to happen it will occur regardless of the delicacy of your delivery. We must break free from the fear of the labels and speak to matters as they confront us.

You can remove your filter and rain professional at work, and caring with those in your life that you love. You must speak up for yourself as no one else can do so for you. You will find that putting yourself I’m the filter cage doesn’t aid a positive self image. Far to often we find ourselves beating the words that need to be spoken, as we walk away knowing an issue is not resolved. You can find yourself in a bathroom stall, closet, your car or some place where you are alone saying everything you should have said previously. The only problem is no one heard you.

Masks and filters can lead others to believe you are someone you are not. It can lead to a lack of authenticity in your life. You’ll end up looking in the mirror not recognizing the person you are staring at anymore. This is not healthy mentally, emotionally nor physically. Take some time to reconnect to your voice. There are people that won’t appreciate you being yourself, but that’s not your problem. Freedom starts within you. Showing up as an authentic you on every situation allows the people non your life to engage with the real you. In that space they know who they are truly dealing with, and your boundaries and thoughts are better respected because they are apparent. As for this notion of being a lady…you can do so without filter. When you focus on being authentic who can really define your grace, and womanhood for you? Be a lady on your own terms.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook and also Twitter

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