Thursday, July 18, 2024

5 Ways That Friendships Change After 30.

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( Remember when you were five years old and it was the first day of kindergarten? You didn’t  know anyone in your class and your parent just dropped you off and said have fun. In your little mind you were freaking out. What if no one talked to you? Then you looked across the room and saw the exact same backpack or tin lunch box or light up shoes and instantly you knew that you had a friend. That friendship either only lasted for that school year or for the rest of your lives. It was just that simple.

Maybe that wasn’t your experience. Maybe your friendship bloomed in junior high school when you got put in classes with people from every elementary school in the city, except for your own. But sure enough you found a group that shared your love of Hip Hop or R&B and you were forever bonded. Maybe it was high school.  You were cool with everybody but you had your day ones who you kicked it with on the regular basis, you know the one with the light up shoes from kindergarten or the matching starter coat and baggy pants from junior high. The ones who knew your secret crushes and your embarrassing moments and didn’t mock you for them, well at least not publicly. You all went your separate ways in college but the fact remained that you all stayed tight, as thick as thieves. Summer break was a reunion and the party didn’t stop until fall. It was all easy breezy.

Fast forward to adulthood, I’m talking age 30 plus. That BFF who you spent all of your days with and all of your nights on the phone with during what felt like were the most critical years of your life is now married with children, lives 9 states away and works 52 hours per week. As for you, you have 4 jobs, a side hustle, a dog, a significant other 6 seasons of 5 shows in cue between Netflix and Hulu.

When was the last time you even spoke to your friend aside from a text message? Since everyone is now busy adulting, those small windows where we get to interact with friends become that much more important. Let’s take a closer look at this.

Here are 5 Ways That Friendships Change After 30

  1. There are less people who you call friend. At this age we are more careful with who we have in our inner circle. The friend title is only awarded to those who have been around ten plus years or those with whom we feel a special bond.
  2. Friends become family. After being friends for so long you no longer look at your lunch pale twin as a friend. The two of you have been through so much together that you now have more of sibling relationship.
  3. Some friendships have expired. One day, you look around and see that at the people with whom you had been spending all of time with seems unfamiliar. The two of you have grown in separate directions. You began spending less and less time together and it is okay with the both of you. Some times it’s years before you even notice their absence.
  4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. As busy adults who spend most of the day trying to take over the world, days, weeks and months go by where we haven’t had the chance to catch up with our BFF. The beautiful thing about a true friendship is that no amount of time can break that bond. Once you reconnect you remember why you were friends in the first place.
  5. You become more protective over your friendships slots. Gone are the days of introducing new friends into the group every week. After 30 there is a rigorous friendship screening process that takes months and sometimes years worth of vetting.

Your time and energy is precious and you have reserved it for Netflix and real day ones. Sometimes you let a few new friends slip through the cracks. Mainly because they remind you of your long lost bestie from high school who now lives 9 states away.

Staff Writer; LaMisha M. Readus

One may also follow this talented sister over at; IllRegularGirl.

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