(ThySistas.com) There is no problem with what to be the woman that is everything in the bedroom to your partner. let’s be honest…there is a sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing you can totally satisfy your partner in ways they never imagined. This is not just a male thing; sistahs are starting to own their sexuality more without condemnation. Many are willing to branch out an try new things sexually that pique their interest verses allowing the sexual encounter to be controlled by their partner. This is a wonderful area of enlightenment in sistahs, and it does wonders for self-confidence and how sexy one sees themselves. However, we must be honest with ourselves regarding our body as individuals. Respect starts with you. That respect is not just so that our body won’t be violated or shamed by others. The respect includes knowing your body, understanding your sexuality, and respecting your limits.
Every sistah doesn’t like the same things sexually as we are not a monolith. Being open to new areas of sexuality is wonderful when its what everyone wants. It is never wise to use one’s body to keep a partner nor merely entice one. If you aren’t careful you will find yourself in situations that are painful for all the wrong reasons. When you discover positions and sexual actions that don’t suit your body, and they are not pleasurable it is important to speak up and disengage those practices.
Too many sistahs have felt that if they keep at those uncomfortable encounters it will get better over time. Unfortunately, too many find that not only is this not the case, but they end up harboring resentment as their partner is having a pleasurable experience while they are physically miserable. This can change the dynamic of a healthy relationship in a negative way. Just because certain sexual practices might seem common it doesn’t mean you should endure something that clearly isn’t for you.
Respecting your limits involves knowing when your sexual energy is off, and you require a different kind of intimacy. You may be thinking if my partner doesn’t get what they need they will leave. Well, if that’s all your relationship is based on that in itself is a problem. Some women need a bit more time after that time of the month, and that is okay. Some women need more than six weeks after having a baby before they can return to sexual activity. If this is something you’ve experienced it is quite okay. There is no shame is needing to tend to your physical energy, and you should not allow anyone to pressure you into feeling the need to extend your body beyond your limit. Many women have encountered medical problems because they didn’t respect their sexual limitations at that time, nor did they set the expectation that their partner must do the same.
Taking the time to know all aspects of yourself is apart of embracing your womanhood. Keeping an open mind sexually is great…you never know what you will encounter that will be great for you. However, the things that you know don’t stimulate you, or cause you pain are areas whereby you must be honest with yourself and your partner. You’d hate sexual intimacy to become a dreaded chore that you hate to encounter because of what has been allowed that isn’t good for you.
Ones sexual freedom isn’t something to be taken lightly. If you are uncomfortable in a situation respect that moment, yourself, and demand said respect in return. Having limitations doesn’t make you horrible sexual partner…your limits are just as much apart of you as the areas whereby you are adventurous.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.