(ThySistas.com) Infidelity is not something that you can easily bounce back from but if you decide to stay, you and your partner must do the work, to heal from it. Infidelity is one of the darkest moments in relationships but depending on the people involved in the relationship, determines how you can move on to mend the brokenness or lack of trust. Let me say this, cheating is unacceptable, no matter the cause of deception. I am not making excuses for anyone who cheats on their spouse or partner.
Now, moving right along ….. if you decide to stay in the relationship, please don’t continue to bring up the issue to your partner, it’s tacky because you had a choice to leave and you decided to stay, so reliving that painful moment over and over, serves no purpose. If your partner cheated and is doing the work to gain your trust again, honestly, let it go. You are worrying yourself for no reason thinking that every chance that they are not in front of you, that means
they’re cheating or about to ….. STOP THE STINKING THINKING!
I once was engaged to a serial cheater I’ll say. I would stay because my self-esteem was clearly so low at the time, I would beg him to stay in the relationship after he was caught cheating and he would cheat on me, again and again and again. Crazy right?!?! I still wasn’t smart enough at the time, to leave him alone. Instead, I would work my brains out trying to fix me, thinking maybe if I did this or that, he wouldn’t cheat on me. Sis, let me confirm to you now that I know better: it was NEVER me that was the problem ……… it was HIM. If you are in a similar relationship, get out now, because it doesn’t get better and thank God, I never made it down the aisle in holy matrimony to this guy.
You can rebuild trust in a relationship by first forgiving the person who cheated on you. Without forgiving them, it simply won’t work. As the saying goes, “you aren’t forgiving them for them, it’s for you.” You don’t want to become a hateful or bitter person because someone else hurt you. It’s nothing like a woman scorned and we see it all of the time in movies. The woman was so nice and sweet, upstanding citizen and the world’s greatest mom, then she finds out her husband is having an affair and she loses her mind literally and turns into a mad woman. Don’t let this be you, so honestly forgive your partner!
Seek professional help separately and individually. You need separate counseling because there’s some things that needs to be discussed that could be personal and private and the partner won’t feel safe enough to say it in front of the other partner. Afterwards, you can began attending couples counseling if needed. Only you and your partner know what you need to strengthen the relationship but it is always to have a person who is biased to relationship to mediate between you two and help you see things that may not be on the surface regarding the relationship.
Lastly, date each other again. We get so complacent in our relationship once we hit that six months mark or once we get the wedding ring and say “I do” ….. but you must continue to be the people that you both fell in love with. Don’t let the status of your relationship ever make you become complacent in your relationship. You have to allow your partner who cheated, the space to gain your trust again. If you continue to shut down or turn away from them, you’re hurting the relationship even the more. How to rebuild trust in a relationship? Three simple answers: forgive, seek professional help and date again!
Staff Writer; Felicia T. Simpson
One may also connect with this sister online over at; FTSimpson.com.