(ThySistas.com) Hurt can leave, what feels like, an everlasting scar. Pain that seems to surface at any given time. Just as you think you are about to move on you find yourself warped in time trapped in a hurt that threatens to leave you gasping for air. Yet, you want love. You want to smile, and have a smile returned. You know our black men go through hell in the world, but you want him to see love and validation in your eyes. You know your parents have dealt with pains they never expose to you, but you want them to see their salvation in who you have become.
You want your friends to know no matter what they face they are never alone in you. However, when you are alone the past is replayed. Its hard to see the beauty in yourself when all you see is what’s been your past. It’s a combination of the hurt you sustained from others, and the decisions that you have made be it knowingly or unknowingly.
If you are unwilling to bury your past, heal, and move forward truthfully the future you desire with all your heart may become unattainable. Sometimes it may take seeing a therapist so that they can help you work through your experiences completely. There comes a time whereby you can become your setback, not someone else, and you then become the person that causes the hurt. How many times will we pray for love, but turn it away? Just as you want to be seen for who you are so does everyone else. Every man isn’t the man that hurt you. Every sister is not the sister that betrayed you. This is very important to understand because if not you will lose people in your life that could have been answers to your prayers.
Furthermore, there is the hypocrisy factor. Let’s be honest when your past is running the show you may find yourself doing to others what you don’t want done to you in an effort to protect self. Its one thing to aware of the people around you, and another one to assume who they are and immediately write them off. It’s never okay to project the behaviors of those that hurt you in the past on the new people entering your life. You would be highly upset if a man or new friend did this to you. It would be natural that you would want to defend your character, and integrity. Well, you have put them in the position to do the same.
You must do something different to receive something different. This is true of many situations. When we face hurt in a string of romantic relationships, or just friendships, it is important to remember you are the least common denominator in all those situations. Assessing self doesn’t mean you are blaming you or shaming you. It means you are ready to start the part of healing process.
At that point you are ready to do what is necessary to rid yourself of the residue of the past so that you can go forward with the freedom to live and love. You deserve to be happy but carrying your past like a permanent accessory will only serve to hurt your future relationships hence continuing the cycle of pain in your life. Allow yourself the opportunity to love an live your best life to your fullest potential.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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