(ThySistas.com) The biological clock in our mind, along with others in our life, saying we need to be married and mothers by a certain age is toxic. If not careful you might find yourself running from one relationship to the next trying to achieve an expectation with your heart in shreds. There comes a point whereby we must free ourselves of the expectations put on us by others, while holding on to the things we truly want. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a loving relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent. With that in mind it is important to take the time you need to assess self after relationships end so that you aren’t caring toxic baggage to your next situation.
Sometimes you can find yourself coming apart at the seems because you have not taken the time to heal. Your identity is more than a 
relationship it is the culmination of everything you are. Jumping from one partner to the next is a way to lose your sense of self as eventually you will find yourself morphing to fit the box of another person. It is very easy to shape self to fit what it is the next person is looking for under the idea that if I’m everything they want they will stay. Neither you nor the person you are with is perfect.
You will never be able to fit the mode of perfection as they will not be able to do this very thing for you. It is important to enter a situation presenting who you truly are and let the cards fall where they may. Cherishing who you are is important for the success of any relationship you will enter. No one can learn how to love you if you aren’t in love with yourself.
Sometimes to fall in love with self you will need time alone with self. When a relationship comes to a close take the time to heal your heart and mind. Allow yourself time to cry, re-adjust and get back to being you in a strong sense. This is an important time because you don’t want to develop a situation whereby you truly feel you can’t function without being with someone. You want to strive to be complete, whole and focused within yourself before going forward with another relationship.
Taking time to heal can save you heartache in future relationships. That time will also allow you to see clearly hence making better relationship choices. Instead of choosing a rebound that is an emotional crutch you can embrace a person that will compliment you in a positive manner. Healing time also prevents you from inflicting abuse on another due to the hurt you have sustained the previous relationship. If one is not careful hurt can cause us to hurt others in the same manner. You will find that the things you don’t want to tolerate are also the same things you give. This is a dangerous place to be in as guilt often accompanies this behavior. Taking the space to heal self is an investment you need to make in self for your wellness.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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