(ThySistas.com) No woman wants to follow a man with no sense of direction. If he doesn’t know himself and his worth how can he lead you? When a man is weak to the point you have the urge to run over him you won’t follow him. When promises are constantly broken, and you are never the priority you will not want to follow said man. When it seems he is never there for you in a crisis but manages to be there for others you don’t see him as someone you can rely on.
When your understanding of leadership and control equates to subjugation and being put under foot you will never want to agree to such a situation. If we listen to some feminist, they would conclude this is why we can not allow ourselves to succumb to male leadership…we must be equal, or we must ourselves lead.
The problem with that thinking is when we think about what we want in a man is it contrary the above mentioned, but also contrary to our disdain for leadership. When many women think about what they want in a man…it has something to do with them being able to run their lane as a woman. They want to feel safe, secure, supported, loved, valued and cherished. We want him to be able to lead a family and provide for his household. Yes, we want him to value our mind and contribution to the family and relationship while allowing us the space to be free and powerful. We want to be the queen. There is nothing wrong wanting all of these things, but too many of us have never seen it.
We don’t get this kind of a man when he’s broken and ran over…by us. This man will protect us from anything including ourselves and will not allow us to break him in any fashion. He’s not a child, and he does have his own mind. He knows how to submit to his creator and value your council and yes, he is still a man. There s nothing toxic in his natural need to control as in protect as there is noting weak in your natural need to let him do so.
It is time we decide what we want. We can’t tell black men to step up…then insist on staying in the space we are asking them to ascend to. We must be free enough to acknowledge that we need to be in a situation whereby we don’t have to fix everything and pour into everyone. We need a man that can pour into us, an even tell us to sit down somewhere when we are doing a bit too much. Again, this doesn’t make us weak. This kind of man values your strength…you must be sure to value his.
I was once asked: “If a man thought like you, did everything you wanted him to do exactly the way you wanted it done and every solution he had to a problem was the same as yours is he a man?” Ladies the answer to that question is no. Men and women are different and we have to come to respect and appreciate the differences. If you find, or have, the brother that can lead with strength and compassion…let him. You mind, spirit and health will thank you.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.