(ThySistas.com) In a relationship, two people who are essentially different individuals come together and most times conflict is not only inevitable, it is healthy. Some relationship experts suggest that couples who are not afraid to disagree, argue and discuss issues on a regular basis have a more happy and healthier relationship than those who hold everything in until it is time to explode.
It is imperative that you learn how to productively handle conflict to encourage open communication and to build emotional intimacy with your partner. Are you ready to improve your relationship?
Here’s how to fight fair in love with your partner:
· Do not fight to win. Competition is a healthy part of life and so is winning, except in relationships. When we find ourselves hurt or offended by others, our natural reaction is to counter attack. It does not benefit the partnership to win the battle and lose the war.
In relationships, it is not “winning” unless you both win, after all you are partners, team players. Keep your relationship respectful, healthy, and loving by ensuring both partners feel good about the outcome and recognize all comprises will benefit both of you ultimately.
· Be productive. The end result of any argument should be growth. Always keep that goal in mind. Any argument should end with your partner learning something about your attachment needs and feelings. Rather than focusing on the issue or event, share how the experience made you feel.
· Stick to the topic. Keep things short and sweet by staying on topic. It is easy to drift off and open up numerous conversations at the same time. When an argument occurs, this is not the time to get last week’s issues off your chest. Take turns sharing with one another and validating each other’s feelings without interruption. Love does not die when an argument comes up!
· Find the deeper meaning. When you find yourself constantly arguing about surface issues, it is often because of a deeper value, issue, or concern at hand. If you are able to identify the issue the fuels the argument, you will be able to tackle the real problem and avoid fighting in the first place. Be reflective in the midst of an argument in order to maintain respect for your partner.
· Fight with love. Take a step back to consider how your partner is feeling and diffuse the situation with love. Is he/she feeling neglected? Unappreciated? Have you been preoccupied? Many times an argument can be solved by spending time appreciating one another and remembering why you fell in love.
While verbal arguments are healthy for a relationship when you fight fair, arguments should never turn physical and neither partner should be in fear of their life. If you feel the argument escalating and name calling is soon to follow, do not be afraid to take a 15 or 20 minute time out. Use your arguments to learn something about one another, not to damage your relationship or your partners character.
Staff Writer; Dina Tuff
333rd Eye Healing Temple
Reconnecting Consciousness to Magick
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