(ThySistas.com) Women of color (WOC) are one of the most powerful forces of nature known to man. We know how to get things done. We know how to take care of our families. We even stand up for our men in the face of great adversity. While there are a plethora of things that we do well, one area in which we fall short many times is our concern for our sisters.
I get it. Black women, in particular, are at the greatest moment in history. We are more educated than ever. We are richer than ever. We have it going on. But too often our need to get ahead, our dislike for another woman and our intelligence can be great hindrances in the building of meaning relationships with other WOC.
I recently experienced this fact in an online group of which I am apart. I was invited by a friend to join this sisterho
od that is meant to be a safe place for all women of color. While I do not express myself in the same way that many of the ladies in the group do, I respect where they come from and nine times out of 10, I agree with them. Recently, the woman who invited me made a comment on a meme that another member posted and ultimately, she was kicked out of the group because what she said was conducive to the mission of the group. That is only part of the issue.
The thing that made me think about WOC ‘s interaction with one another is the fact that someone made a separate post about what happened, which garnered reactions from people who didn’t even see the comment in question (my friend deleted it, which deleting posts is a big no, no in this group). Members questioned her “wokeness,” said she was taking up for white people and pretty much cast her off without anyone reaching out to her about what she said. She didn’t even know she was kicked out until she stopped seeing posts from the group in her timeline. She had no idea she offended anyone.
This bothered me and of course, I took up for her in the thread. But more than that, it made me think about how WOC can be with each other. The moment someone disagrees with us, or there is miscommunication, we cast the other woman off as if she doesn’t exist or as if she aligned herself with our fiercest enemy.
Why are we so volatile toward each other? I know that reality TV teaches us how to fight (physically) our way to the top, but that’s make believe. We cannot act like this in real life.
As women of color, our first response to our sisters should be a desire to understand. If no one else gives us the benefit of the doubt, we owe it to one another to hear each other out. If after the discussion, no matter how heated it is, we can still love each other, then great. If we feel the best option is to walk away, then we do so with a clear understand of why.
We have to be better to one another.
Staff Writer; Rasheda Abdullah