(ThySistas.com) I thank God every day that I have resilient hair. With my medical challenges, and multiple medications I’m grateful that my hair has not had a major adverse reaction. The greatest thing I battle with is varying degrees of dryness. So many of us must battle with our hair for various reasons…from not knowing how to care for it, to not being able to care for it. There is so much that we deal with in the course of a week…more so a day. Many of us are women hurt that simply know how to push through the pain to the point that we are functional…until we are not. Depression is such a real issue within our community, and I would go as far as to say it has been since the first slave ship left the African coast. Sistahs are the masters of fake it until you make it. Too know that strong are struggling means you have indeed struggled, and you know what to look for.
In the daily challenge to make pain look flawless we are misdiagnosing what is happening on our head. When high functioning depression, anxiety, etc. becomes the norm we tend to overlook those things when the body acts out of character. Let’s be honest, depending on the type of natural hair you have…you can get away with a lot of hair neglect and still look like you are taking care of yourself. Depression shows itself in our hair…it can be seen in what we are willing to do, or not do to it. Yes, natural hair can take a lot out of you on wash day, but some of us are not making it to wash day and it has nothing to do with the nature of our hair itself.
The pulled back puff, head wraps when allowed, and the equivalent of a messy bun for natural hair is the go to for a lot of sistahs. If I may be transparent, I know the depression is strong when I sort back to products, I know I, unless money is tight, have grown out of. Case and point, when I resort to water and blue magic grease to throw of this hair on my head into a high puff…and it stays that way for an undisclosed amount of time I’m in trouble. I may not realize I am sinking when it’s initially done…but I was recently made aware when a sistah in the grocery store asked if I was okay. She looked at my head and back at me when I stated I was fine. She was kind, and did not state the obvious…but I knew she recognized something was wrong by simply putting her attention on my head.
It was this unspoken acknowledgement of concern that helped me notice I was no longer high functioning…I slowly breaking down. It was time to rise back to the surface and face me I admit this is always the hardest part of depression for me to deal with. In these moments I must acknowledge that the source may not have been my fault but how I responded to the challenges I was facing was on me. I needed to reach out, I needed to forgive myself, and I needed to tend to my hair. I needed to assess myself and tend to me in a manner that would result in healing so that I could function properly.
Hair is always a touchy topic in our community, but it is a clear indicator when something is not okay. This issue with hair manifesting our unraveling shows itself in many different ways. For some it could be literally hair unkept, for other hair not washed but gathered in some way, it could be shedding due to stress, breakage due to stress [shedding and breakage are not quite the same], it could be us taking drastic measures with our hair such as cutting only to hate it after the fact, or simply putting it all away in a wrap so that we do not have to see it. Whichever thing happens, and I’m sure there are many others, it is still a cry for help from our crown to us and it must be answered. You may not always be able to tend to this allow or feel too vulnerable to go to the salon. This is where we call upon our sister circles and finally state that we need help. If we have the right circle…help is on the way. Something that sounds as simple as getting our hair properly tended to can help us get on the path of healing and getting back to loving oneself.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.