Are We Teaching Our Children.

(ThySistas.com) Everyone seems to want to tell parents what they feel is the correct way to raise children, while also telling us every child is different. Too many of us are being told out just out of diapers small children need to be independent, make choices, and have authority. However, if any of this is exercised outside of the home, like in school, parents will be hauled into the principal’s office for a conference. We want our children to be organized and aware of their surrounding yet we hesitate when it comes to consistent responsibility and expectations because we don’t want to “stress them out”. We are careful about applying the logic of you can do good in school and contribute at home so too many of us pick one. We don’t demand proper behavior in the home consistently with consequences, but try to defend ourselves when the behavior is now unacceptable in the public.

When we turn on the news and see our children dying in the streets, and being unlawfully handled by law enforcement we are ready to cry out…but our kids are not prepared for the reality of the world we life in. The bottom line is we must teach our children. It is a labor of love, it is repetitive, on many days you will be exhausted, and it will require you to get YOU together because yes they hear you…but more importantly your kids are watching you.

Let me clear, this is not about abusing children, and that has to be stated as that is far too often where the conversation goes when the issue of structure is brought up. Some of us are so caught up in not wanting to be the previous generation we refuse to acknowledge that in some areas they did get it right…and in some areas we are failing. The inverse is also correct. Wanting children to learn to be independent thinkers, and make wise choices is important. However, that may have to start with you making selections and teaching them how to choose in a safe environment. I can’t allow my four year old to decide what he’s eating for dinner. I can give him options to choose from. He still needs parental oversight as if its left up to him he might try to eat pizza every day, and would be deficient in terms of nutrition. I will not allow him to decide to wear shorts and a t-shirt in 40 degree weather. This might sound like no brainers…but for some reason it is not. Children are taught respect for authority at home [or not] before dealing with the public. There is no way they should treat the parent as though that parent is their servant that they don’t have to heed. We don’t begin teaching these lessons at six an seven…it starts from day one.

Our children are more resilient than we realize. They are not made of glass. They can go to school and be efficient, then come home and have chores that they are consistently responsible for. We are then training a child that can one day take care of themselves while maintaining a job. Everything we do now is building blocks to help them become respectful efficient human beings. Teaching them what they need to know doesn’t mean life will be fair with them…it means they are not on the wrong side of the situation. Life has consequences, so should your home. These are all things that need to be taught. If you find that you need help please reach out to your family, community, church, and various professionals. Yet remember, you know your child, and sometimes you will have to go with your gut.

Children are a 24/7 responsibility. They will learn as you are hands on with them, when you care about their day, when you discipline in love, and when you show up for them. We are teaching them when they watch us make responsible decisions, take a care for our health, say no, get up and go to work, when they see us communicate effectively, and when they realize we don’t ask them to do anything we ourselves don’t walk out before them. They experience us apologizing to them if we get it wrong because we are not perfect. They will be able to recall us telling them about the reality of the world they live in…they might hate to hear us repeat ourselves, but the wisdom will come back to them when they face life challenges. If we want out children to have a better chance at life and living successfully we must roll our sleeves up and parent, and support each other in the effort to parent our children individually and as a community.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.

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