(ThySistas.com) There was time not very long ago at all that I was willing to use the terms village and community interchangeably. I there was no difference in how I saw those that I loved because my position on love is unconditional. I admit I am of those that didn’t see the need to separate how I deal with family. The trending language for those we deem close to us, inner circle, and family is village or even community. The interesting thing about these terms is they are very different, and why you are looking using them to identify relationships, verses geographical space, they take on a different meaning. In every use of the word a village is smaller and more quaint than a community.
When we are relating to those close to us many terms overlap, and some exit within another. For example, your village exist within your community, however everyone in the community is not a part if the village. How close someone is to you determines the level of trust you place on that relationship. There are vulnerable spaces that should be guarded, as they can be your undoing in the hands of the wrong person. This reality can also teach us that some spaces simply can not be replicated in any fashion. Everyone can’t hold the same space and that is okay.
Community is a large space that comprises of people I know and love. Some are blood family members, friends, and people that have become family to me over time. My community and I have like minded principles in many spaces. This is no doubt a circle I would ride with. Even when there are disagreements, which can be heated, there is doubt we will reconcile. Realization that there are those in your community that you can’t share everything with is important. Knowing that your community can be vast, and at times it will rotate is important to understand. This is space is very different from what can be considered your village which is extremely close to your heart.
The village is a small quaint place in terms of space, and this holds true when it comes to one’s circle. You may find there isn’t much change in your village as those there are irreplaceable, and it is hard for one to work their way into that space. One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is separating village from community. When this doesn’t happen people are not placed in our life according to who they have proven themselves to be to us. This can cause undue heart ache and trauma. Those in your village are trusted confidants. They love just as hard as you and are as loyal to you as you are to them. These are the people that not only hold you accountable, but they believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself. If you have children, your children don’t just know of them…they know these are the people to call in a crisis. Your village are those that know where your weaknesses are, and you trust that those spaces won’t be exploited or preyed upon.
I never thought to separate the spaces until I was faced with there pain of having trusted someone with vulnerability, against my better judgment, because they told me “they had me”. They are a member of my community, but I should have never treated them like they were one of my go to village folk, because they had not earned that with me. Because of this error in judgement, I found myself questioning a lack of reciprocity, and beating myself up over the entire incident. Know the difference between your community and your village. Never allow yourself to feel bad because you place people where you need then in your life according to who they are. The first person you owe honestly, reciprocity, and love is yourself. There is no shame in having blood relatives as a part of your community verses your village. You still love them, and they still have an important place in your lie. Everyone can’t be near your vulnerable spaces.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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