(ThySistas.com) Life has been a challenge for many people. Pandemic, natural disasters, so much uncertainty, health challenges, loss of loved ones, and simply trying to manage oneself has altered what we know to be life. The “who has it worse” competition has no place in this kind of climate. It is important to be able to stay connected to family and friends, but in doing so it can’t be a one-way task. Many of us have that person(s) in our life or sister circle that seems to have an endless capacity. It looks like life throws them bricks, and they build a new world with it. These are the same sistahs that will send what you need at the drop of a dime, answer almost every call, and it might even appear that they don’t have too much going on because they always seem to have time for you. That strong person has a limit, and they deserve your reciprocity. They are the person you come to when the world is falling apart, because they’re life is fine, and they always find a way to put you back together. Understand this person isn’t what you think, and you can’t see them because it has been decided that the world shall revolve around you. However, the communication of love, care, support, upliftment, and kindness is a two-way street.
Let’s clear up some misinformation. The person that has your back…has a back that also needs to be covered. Life does through bricks at them, and that sistah gets hit by them. Just because she appears to have the ability to keep moving doesn’t mean she doesn’t take losses. We talk about men applying the “strong black woman” pressure, but it’s time we have a sister chat about how toxic we can be to each other regarding this very same pressure. This sistah that answers your calls needs to know you will answer in kind. If you take the time to ask her how she’s doing you might be surprised. You might be kicking and screaming that you put everyone’s life and feeling above your own, but when was the last time you actually checked on the women you call sistah?
When was the last time you got up and offered to pay your sistahs a visit? Do you know how those nieces and nephews are doing? How many times did you throw events and failed to invite the women that keep you together? The women you call for help cry in the shower, the care and in the dark. These women don’t speak of their challenges because if no one asked they must be too busy, or not have the capacity. It’s time to check in on the ones that help you stay non your feet no matter how you behave.
Furthermore, about the question of time…that sistah is just as busy as you. It’s easy to assume they are just sitting around not doing too much because they are always available to be there for you. In this mindset they should be grateful because you are super busy, always tired and going through; at least they get the rest you only dream about. This is where you are wrong. The sistah answering you is just as tired as you if not more. It not that you are busier than she is…she makes time to be there for you. You are important to her, so she makes time when truth be told her time is tight. If you take the time to communicate with this sistah about where she is you’ll know just how busy she is, and how much she values you.
We as black women must remember our sistahs that allow us to stay on our feet. Communication is a two-way street and it’s important that we are mindful of each other. It is vital to our community that we realize our strong sistahs need someone to be there for them too. They aren’t alone…we need to have their backs, and we need to care about what is happening with and to them.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.