(ThySistas.com) Society these days say feelings over everything. How we feel is to be catered to at all costs. If you want to grow a relationship it is important to mind your communication. Triggers are to be avoided at all cost…even the ones you don’t know exist as you will be responsible for them all. Perception is more important that the truth in every encounter. It doesn’t matter what you are saying, even if you are concise in your speech, if I decide to perceive it as offensive that’s what it is, and you need to correct yourself. Society says if I feel offended you need to own it, because it doesn’t matter what the truth of the matter is.
You don’t get to tell me I’m not offended, nor that it’s not your fault. These are all situations that have a place but have become so mainstream that it allows the perceived victim in a situation to be the aggressor. There is a space where right is right, and the truth matters above all else. We don’t get to pick and choose when that space applies. Furthermore, it is time you stop apologizing purely to keep the peace. Even the peace apology has a place, but it’s being abused at an alarming rate.
Yes, feelings are important. No one should be in a situation whereby their triggers are toyed with like a yo-yo, and yes there will be times when you have offended someone and was unaware. The problem is this, feelings don’t stop the truth from being such. If you got your feelings hurt crossing the space of someone else or taking the rights of another your feelings don’t sit higher than the offense you gave. Triggers are important, but the term is becoming watered down and used to allow people to mistreat others. The world isn’t aware of all of your triggers, and they are not responsible for them. This is where we must own what we live with and work towards healing.
The misuse of the word trigger is taking away from those that actually have to deal with triggers. This might be hard to take, but just because you are offended doesn’t mean you are right, nor owed an apology. If someone is offended because you don’t like or preference the same things as them for no other reason than that’s just not what you like…they don’t have a right use offense against you. They don’t have a right to tell you to right your thinking because your likes don’t match theirs. That in itself is offensive.
It is very important to be careful of how we use feelings, and apologies. If you are not wrong in a matter nor your presentation of such you should reconsider apologizing simply because the other person is taking out their frustrations on you. Furthermore, it may be time to re-evaluate the nature of that relationship. No one deserves to be abused in a relationship, and continually apologizing in spaces that are not warranted will make those you interact with feel justified in their thinking, and mistreatment of you. Sometimes you will have to stand up for yourself, and sometimes you are the one owed the apology. Peace and compromise are important, but so is fairness. This peace that allows others to mistreat is not true peace, and eventually something in that relationship is bound to break in a very harmful manner to all parties involved.
Staff Writer; Adonicka Michele