(ThySistas.com) I can listen to India.Arie on repeat while riding down the longest stretch of highway on the coldest day of the year without skipping a single song. It is HARD to find music albums like this these days. To have the perfect mix of voice, beat, and message is rare. To have someone that makes you think is like Rupaul not being a gorgeous woman. It really is not possible.
India has a song called “Back to the Middle”. In the song, each story Arie tells has the person remember who they are and remember their worth. They have to come back to the middle to remember who they are.
So where is the middle? Answer: Your Core Values. 
These words or statements remind you of what makes you who you are. These statements help you to remember your personality. It helps you to remember your light. It helps you to remember you. How does one come up with these values in the midst of a world that wants you to take advice from life coaches, social media therapists, and various religions? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine the answers.
Question 1: What do your actions say about you?
Yeah…Yeah…Yeah… “Actions speak louder than words.” That is true in some cases. In other cases, actions create the words we are. Examine your actions with friends, family, and at work. Then think: what does this say about me? Do you like confronting people or do you speak more behind their back? Do you solve other people’s issues like you solve your own? Once you start to determine answers, turn them into statements that express who you are.
Question 2: How do I look at family and affection?
Do not let this society turn you into a pessimist about love and affection. YOU NEED IT! You need to know where you get it from and why. It really does drive how you accept compliments, positivity, and so many other things. Asking this question will give you a statement of comfort when everything is on fire and you desire to blow everything up.
Question 3: What do I believe about me?
This will be the most difficult question to answer. You are going to want to lie in order to feel better, but this is not one of those times to feel better. It is a time to be honest with yourself and admit the good, the bad, and the yucky. The real answers that you admit from this question will be core values that will sustain you when you or others question who you truly are. Instead of you hauling off and choking someone, you will remember that may not be who you really are.
If you are wondering why you do not have these, it is not your fault. Recent generations have not had very clear core values established for various reasons. It has been kind of difficult to lay out values when you are constantly being judged or criticized for what you believe. That does not mean you can not start today with coming back to your middle. Come back to your core values.
Staff Writer; J. W. Bella
May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.