(ThySistas.com) Being a strong woman doesn’t mean do for others while the things you need go undone. The definition of strength is not to suffer in silence while you allow yourself to be a place of refuge for the people you love. It is time we embrace the strength in vulnerability. There is strength in being able to trust others and ask for the help we need. You deserve to have a place within someone you love and trust that can be a covering that shields you from the world as you tend to your most vulnerable spaces. It doesn’t make you strong to expect this level of trust from others while priding yourself in never giving what you expect. Sometimes these things are sub-conscious. Most sisters dealing with an honesty issue are not dealing on purpose. They truly feeling like they are sacrificing to love and be there for other while not being a burden.
Honesty is the problem, and it can be found in the communication of a relationship from day one. Sister you never need a soul. No one ever saw you cry. You insisted on picking yourself up out of darkness while rejecting hands; know you are teaching people how to love and support you. Many have heard of a love language, but support has a language also. Being honest about your vulnerable spaces, and what you genuinely need in a relationship might be one of the factors to growth in said relationship.
If you find that you are used to hearing about what’s going on with everyone else, but you are asked how you’re doing as a formality it might be because you have diminished your needs in said relationship. It hurts when you face life challenges that you have walked others though and it’s as though no one sees you. All they see is their situation, and they expect you to be there regardless of your state. In that space it feels like you are not important because they don’t table their feelings to throw energy and support behind you. This eventually leads to you shutting down, or you finally tell the person how you feel only for them to feel attacked. All of this miscommunication would have been had you been honest about what you needed.
When asked how you are doing…BE HONEST. If you aren’t in a good space say so…allow the people you love to know you need them by allowing them the opportunity to be there for you. Granted this will also weed out people that are selfish, narcissistic, and toxic that you may have in your life. You’ll know who they are because they will talk right over your need, and make you feel like you’ve done something wrong for expecting reciprocity.
Don’t try to make carrying the weight of the world look effortless because you will be carrying it alone. Live your truth everyday and those meant to be a part of your support circle will hear you and help keep you going. Opening up will allow you to experience the reciprocity you long for while allowing others in your life to feel needed and valued by you. This degree of honesty is covering for a relationship.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.