(ThySistas.com)
“Wow…you don’t have any kids?”
“But you’re married. You should have children by now.”
“Well, what is wrong with him? Or you?”
You try your best to say the aforementioned statements without emotion or disdain. Regardless, they still pinch a small piece of the heart to the woman you speak to. She smiles only to please you. On the inside, those same statements are repeating over and over again. They are becoming a part of the skin of shame that has to come to terms with the fact that children may not be in her future.
But that does not mean to lose hope.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is a disorder in women that causes them to have a high hormone imbalance. That imbalance makes it difficult for women to produce children. Yay! No children! Then, the side effects kick in, and you realize that having children would probably be less painful. In a society that impresses upon generations the importance of leaving a legacy and building a family, how does a woman with PCOS cope? She learns so as to share, and she finds other ways to be a part of the lives of the future.
The initials PCOS are very intimidating in your OBGYN office filled with pictures of little newborns waving their arms and legs uncontrollably with their eyes closed. Instead of producing estrogen (the female hormone), a PCOS is also producing testosterone in large amounts. This leads to physical changes like hair loss and growth in abnormal places along with difficulty with having a consistent menstrual cycle. It is amazing, however, how knowledge can be power. Essence Payne Randle knows this first hand. She knew since she was young that something was not exactly normal: “I first started noticing symptoms back in 2012. I would have a cycle for about 3 months straight, then I’d go 2-3 months without one. Two doctors and three years later, I was diagnosed with PCOS…After I started doing my own research I realized I’ve actually had symptoms since I was a little girl, but of course back in 1989-1993, my parents didn’t know what to look for.” Depravation and depression could have possibly seeped in, and
it would not be surprising if it did for a while. Nonetheless, Randle took the time to do research. This led her to the path of starting her own non-profit dedicated to making sure others like herself can learn, get treatment, and get the help they deserve: “Becoming an advocate for PCOS is not only an outlet for me but also a way to reach out to hundreds of people on both ends of the spectrum. My goal is to help women identify the symptoms of PCOS, thus decreasing the number of those undiagnosed and, in the process, teach others that certain things they say or how they say them, no matter how “normal” they believe they are, can be more hurtful than helpful. I want people to be more aware of their speech towards women because I know their remarks are not meant to be harmful.”
So…you can not have children? Ok. Does that mean you can not help other people’s offspring? Of course not! Do not let PCOS keep you from helping the future maneuver through difficulties and victories in the course of their young lives. Currently, Mrs. Randle is the sponsor of the Silver Treasures of Huntington High School (the dance team which she used to be on in high school). She has the opportunity to help young ladies express themselves physically and entertain thousands with their awesome dancing abilities. The world does not end because you can not reproduce. It will continue to turn as you continue to make it awesome by being the great person you are. A house can still be a great home of hope and prosperity…with or without children.
Works Cited
Watson, Stephanie. “Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS): Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 29 Mar. 2019, www.healthline.com/health/polycystic-ovary-disease#what-is-pcos.
Randle, Essence Payne. Interview. 25 December 2019.
Staff Writer; J. W. Bella
May also follow this talented sister online over at; JWB Writes.