(ThySistas.com) When you are the person everyone brings their issue to it’s hard to keep the amount of energy needed to take care of you. It is okay to love all of the sistahs in your circle. Some of them are like daughters, others are mentee, and some are on level with you as sisters. Its important to remember that regardless of who they are to you they must chart the path they are willing to walk knowing that they will not always choose their own wellness. When you are the one they come to there are spaces whereby you are made to be the bad guy because no one wants to be told their behavior must be corrected because it is the core behinds unfavorable situations at the same time, you are expected to defend and nurture the same women that you love from an authentic space.
Women that bare this support do so because they love these women, are connected to them, and hurt when these women hurt. Unfortunately, in the name of self-care, you will have to decide when it’s time to protect your energy, and emotional space. Though you know why these sistahs respond in the way they don’t, in many spaces, its hurtful to you because become the rock by which they break every situation against.
It is time to save your energy. It takes a lot to labor with someone to get them to see where their behavior is detrimental to self. You will be accused blaming them, condemning them, and not loving them. There are times you endure the passive aggressive behavior that is the product of a tantrum on their end. However, when they realize you are right, and have their best interest at heart they feel you know their heart, so they never apologize to you for the hurtful words and behaviors. This is hard to carry when you realize there are hardships you are facing alone because they don’t offer you a quarter of the support you give. They aren’t dropping everything to answer you, but you are accused of not caring when you need a moment or two to yourself.
There comes a point whereby you must understand love does not have to equal taking abuse from those your support, and you deserve the same degree of care you give. If you don’t allow your circle to grieve alone, you should not be left to grieve alone. It is very hard to remove yourself as the person that everyone comes to, correction dumps on, with the expectation of care and answers. You are wanted as the cheerleader and the villain by which frustrations are be take out upon.
Save your emotional and mental energy so that you can maintain your physical energy. Hold your circle accountable for their actions, and treatment of you. Surround yourself with people that are accountable to their own energy, because you will find this will cause them to value you and the energy you put into them. This may be difficult at first, but know that you deserve the goodness you put into the world…especially from your own circle.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.