(ThySistas.com) On Mother’s Day we come together to celebrate the very ideal of motherhood. We take the time to reflect on the mothers of the world and everything they add to our life. Regardless of the space women that mother children and our communities are honored and loved on. We share stories about our mothers, and the women that have played that role in our life. On this day we even acknowledge those that haven’t been the best mothers because at the very least they gave us life. There is no discussion about the mothers that don’t live up to the title. There is no discussion of single fathers. No one goes out of their way to talk about mothers that are absent, abusive in many ways, toxic, nor negligent. Mothers are allowed to have their day.
There are men that celebrate Mother’s Day regardless of their relationship with their child’s mother…they will make sure their child acknowledges their mom. Yes, there are some exceptions, but there is not a negative slant on this holiday. We are now beginning to recognize mothers in all spaces.
Father’s are just as important as mothers. Both are needed by our children, and community. There are more men than we realize that are amazing fathers to their children, and many other children. Unfortunately Father’s Day is when single mothers want to assert themselves, it’s the time when we really want to go in on absentee fathers, comments are made that start with “ to all the REAL Fathers”, and children are not always encouraged to acknowledge their father on Fathers’ Day. This is very unfortunate, and it is a horrible double standard. We can not push black love, or elevation in the black community while it is okay to berate fathers on their holiday. For every sistah that can speak of a horrible father…there are just as many that an speak of horrible mothers.
Fathers offer their children the side of parenting a mother cannot. Contrary to popular belie mothers can’t do everything, and there are many men that don’t expect such. Men are parents in the same right as mothers. They pour love, nurturing, and life lessons into the children that should be respected. They offer a feeling of protection and encouragement that, though it compliments, is different from mothers. They are concerned and worried for the state of their children just as mothers worry. When our children are abused, harassed, and gunned down just know fathers hurt also. Many of them are at school conferences, and functions to support and correct their children.
Sistahs we must uplift fathers as just as mothers are uplifted every May. We must help change the false narrative that most men are deadbeat. Fathers’ Day is a celebration of fathers not a time to bring up every negligent man we know. Let’s be honest social media and the community would tear up any man that did such on Mother’s Day. Single fathers can never be a childs mother no matter how hard he tries, all he can do is be the best parent he can to that child. In like manner single mothers can never be a childs father…allow fathers their set aside time to be properly celebrated. Encourage a father this month, and let him know we see him…and we celebrate him for everything he is to his children and many more.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.