(ThySistas.com) According to the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence, there are several ways to identify if your relationship is non-violent and shows equality. To compare, in violent relationships, the partner uses power and control tactics to maintain unequal dynamics in the relationship. If you google the Duluth Model of the Power and Control Wheel, you’ll see exactly what those cycles of violence are and from that wheel, here’s how to measure if your relationship with your partner is equal and healthy.
Non-threatening behavior: Your partner talks and acts in a manner that makes you feel safe around them.
Respect: Your partner doesn’t demean you or minimalize your thoughts or opinions. Your partner respects your views and opinions and doesn’t consider you as “lesser than” them.
Trust and support: Your partner trusts you to be around others (even the opposite sex), doesn’t check your phone, social media or stalk you. Your partner supports your dreams and your goals and shows up for you when you need them the most.
Honesty and accountability: Your partner is honesty with you even if it is something difficult to talk about. When they make a mistake, they are accountable and don’t blame you for their actions.
Responsible parenting: Your partner shares the responsibilities with you as a parent. They don’t make you take on full responsibilities. They show love even when disciplinary actions are needed while parenting. Your partner ensures that your child(ren) respect you and them at all times.
Shared responsibility: Your partner includes on making decisions that affects the relationship and or family. Your partner doesn’t use gender privileges to determine each other roles in the relationship. For example, if your partner is a male, he doesn’t say things like, “I’m the man of the house, so I don’t have to cook and clean.” Instead, your male partner will share those responsibilities with you.
Economic partnership: Your partner does not control the financial decisions in the household. Instead they include you on and you both benefit from the finances. Your partner allows you to financial contribute to the relationship as well. They don’t cause conflicts while you attempt to work or make it so difficult that you can’t obtain your own finances.
Negotiation and fairness: Your partner is not a dictator. Instead, if you two don’t agree they believe in finding a solution that benefits you both. They are willing to change their behaviors if something they’re doing hurts or bothers you.
If the aforementioned describes your relationship, you are in a healthy relationship that exemplifies equality. If some areas need improvements, that’s fine but just remember a relationship is not one sided. If you think or know that your relationship is unhealthy, seek help to get out of it. There are tons of resources online that can teach you more about domestic violence and sexual abuse. You can always call the National Domestic Violence Hotline to identify local service providers and shelters in your area if you are in immediate danger. The hotline number is (800)799-7233.
Staff Writer; Felicia T. Simpson
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