(ThySistas.com) Being a good friend and positive support system is a beautiful thing. Helping others, and those we love most can be fulfilling. We can enjoy seeing those around us happy, free from what has been tormenting them, and succeeding in life. When they go through challenges, we want our loved ones to know we are a phone call or, if necessary, a drive away. As we recognize the increase in suicide and understanding some that we love are battling with mental health issues we never want them to be alone. Yet, it is necessary to know your limits. You must acknowledge when you are running on empty. It is also important to discern when you are being misused as a dumping ground. There are times when all you can do is pray, and the prayer might have to happen without interacting with the person that needs prayer.
Being a part of a support system is valuable, but you must remember to take care of yourself. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty when you can’t answer the phone or need some space to re-center yourself. You can’t give from an empty cup. Sometimes it is necessary to take some time to make sure your priorities are still intact. Know that energy is transferred, so if you get the downer phone call every day from the same person there might come a point when you are finding yourself feeling down.
Should this occur that time to tend to you. Meditate, have a quiet day, enjoy an evening with a positive friend unapologetically, or do something you have been putting off. Taking this time to recharge doesn’t make you a bad person nor friend. If that is what you are being told it might be time to evaluate that relationship.
Regardless of how supportive you are for some it will never be enough. You speak positive and they shut it down and explain the negativity. If you give a solution, they offer another problem. When you try to tend to yourself you are selfish, ignoring them and don’t care. This is dangerous for your, because it can guilt you into going well beyond what you can handle mentally and emotionally. Being a support system doesn’t make you an emotional punching bag.
Having a loved one with certain ailments doesn’t make you a punching bag. You do all that you can to be there, and to understand. However, you must be sure to protect your mental health, and emotional state. When you notice that what is going on with you seems to never matter to them…only what they need you might want to re-access the situation.
You want to position yourself whereby you can be a supportive presence to your loves ones but remain centered in your own life. This is not always an easy balance because love is a powerful force. We tend to love ourselves sometimes into a rut, because its hard to acknowledge when we can no longer handle certain situations. Its hard to feel like you are being misused when you know the person you love is going through real life challenges. Just remember its impossible to give what you don’t have. Never fell less than for making sure you stay on your feet.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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