(ThySistas.com) A black woman is not my natural enemy. Regardless of what the media, and this society, would like me to think I have no reason to see a black woman as a natural threat to my wellbeing. Regardless of status, education or skin tone there are things we all face in this country as black women. Let me clarify, that doesn’t mean that every black woman you meet will be your friend, nor that they are all good people. Simply that, by nature, in this society they are not a threat. The problem is many of us have been conditioned not to trust one another, and to think the worst of each other on contact. This can manifest itself quite plainly in the workplace.
When you find yourself in environments whereby there are not a lot of black women we tend to get tense about having to deal with each other. Ironically, we feel that the white woman or white man that has “befriended” us in such a welcoming way is more of an ally. We
accept their kindness to the point that we don’t realize their subtle passive aggressive attacks on the black women we have yet to meet.
If we don’t recognize this deliberate, or subconscious, act we will find ourselves bracing for a fight that very well may be unwarranted. This behavior is divisive and could find you believing allies you don’t have while not giving your own fellow sisters a fair chance. Being the black woman in the office can be difficult. There will be unnecessary expectations, and many passive aggressive mannerisms one will have to overlook. She must have tough skin and smile, often times, in the face of insults and commentary that deem her as less than. It’s one thing to deal with this from white people, but extremely heartbreaking when it comes from another sister…and it happens before you have the chance to make an introduction.
I once started a new job some years back and there was another sister there in a higher position. My white female co-workers had been very kind and welcoming. They seemed eager to bring me into the fold of things and help me get settled. With that they let me know that the sister higher up was rather demanding. Working with her could be brutal as she didn’t believe in bathroom breaks nor would she be sensitive to my being a new employee. They made her out to be very difficult to work with, and made it a point to subtly mention it in several conversations over a weeks’ time. I found myself apprehensive about meeting her, and uncertain of how things would turn out. However, I reminded myself not to cast a judgment of her until I had my own interaction with the sister…as I would hate to be assumed.
To make a long story short she ended up being one of my favorite executives to work with. She was polite, professional and encouraging. I learned so much from her and she was eager to share professional and life lessons with me. I’m aware that every interaction with black women in the work place won’t be successful, but sisters are my natural ally. We can’t take negative assessments of each other from white co-workers blindly. We must allow our interactions with each other to determine how we will interact. I don’t think my white con-workers meant to be divisive knowingly…I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. However, I learned to see a black woman for myself, and know that she and I have some common ground even if we don’t always agree.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.